An Absolute Flaw in Logic

An absolute
A thing
That cannot happen:
2 conflicting promises
Both of which I'd like to keep.
One to myself
One to another-
Though that other does not know it-
Plus a promise
That the other made
Which if broken
Promises that I will break
To keep the second promise that I made.
If all goes well
And the other's promise
Is kept
Then I
Will not have to carry out
My second promise
And none will I break.
I will not break myself-
According to my first.
I will not live
Or try to carry on-
Accordng to my second
Which is a conditional promise:
If there is nothing, no one to live for-
Specifically one person-
Then why should I?
It was a realization, really,
Not a promise
And yet I realize also
The flaw in logic.