Another World, a Fushigi Yuugi parody
                                            by M.E., The Aniknight's Apprentice
                                            (novelette-12,346 words)

    Chichiri watches Miaka as she walks into the woods.  He follows silently behind her, changing himself to
look like Nakago.  Miaka reaches a clearing and Chichiri jumps out in full view.  Miaka takes one look at what she
thinks is Nakago and screams.  She takes off through the woods with Chichiri matching her pace.  Chichiri drops
behind suddenly.  He appears ahead of Miaka as himself and walks right in front of her and retrains her.
    “Mmmmpppphhhhh!” Miaka screams.
    “No need to panic, no da?”
    Miaka, recognizing his voice, stops struggling and Chichiri releases her.  “Oh!  You scared me!” Miaka
says, stating the obvious.
    Chichiri clears his throat and asks deviously, “What were you run’n’ from, no da?”
    “Nakago was after me!”
    Chichiri looks around in disbelief.  “Well, he’s not here now.  It’s late: I'd better take ya
home, no da?”
    “Oh, thank you Chichiri!”
    Chichiri leads Miaka to a conveniently placed horse and they mount.  Chichiri reflects on Serriyu’s
instructions.  He had told him how to act and what to do, but it seemed too easy to catch this Miaka.  A Miaka from a
different world than his.  So easy.  Chichiri smiles evilly.  Chichiri starts at a trot, making the horse go faster until the
wind is whipping their hair back viscously.  Miaka giggles in idiotic delight.  Chichiri thinks about the Miaka from
his own world and laughs to himself.  She would never fall for such a trick.
    He mutters to himself, “Rule number one.  Never trust anyone.  Especially your friends.”
    “What?” Miaka asks stupidly.
    Chichiri laughs openly at Miaka and urges the horse into a gallop.  It would be up to Serriyu now to take
them back to his world.  He had done his part.  Chichiri drops his act and whoops, “Da! Da! Faster! Faster!”  They
go as fast as the horse can.  Miaka squeals in delight.
    They leap high over a stream as they come to it.  To Chichiri, who had seen this before, a slight shimmer
was visible in the air.  To Miaka, who, after all, has no imagination, nothing changed.  Thus when they landed they
were in the strange Chichiri’s world.

Writer:  How do you like the special effects?

Miaka:  Wha?

Chichiri:  They’re cool.

    Miaka cries in alarm, “Hey!  Slow down!  Aren’t you supposed to be the cautious monk or something?”
    Chichiri hides his confusion and says bluntly, “I’m no monk, baby!”
    “Oh, don’t be silly, you-”
    “Shut up!”
    They reach the palace with an oblivious Miaka.  Chichiri grabs Miaka roughly by the arm.  “Hey, watch it!”
Miaka says innocently.   Chichiri brings her to an evil Hotihori: his leader.  He bows lowly with contempt.
    “I have brought her, Sire.”
    “Hey, what’s goin’ on?”
    “Shut up,” Chichiri snaps.
    Hotihori nods and says, “What an easy catch you seem to have been, Miaka.  Lock her up, Chichiri, and
have Miaka look after her.”
    “What?” Miaka asks.
    Chichiri brings Miaka to her chambers.  Miaka’s double is waiting inside.
    “Hey, how can you be me?” Miaka asks.
    Evil Miaka helps tie stupid Miaka up.
    “Hey!  What are you doing!?!”
    The other Miaka rolls her eyes.  “How’re we going to keep her quiet?”
    Chichiri grins wickedly and hands good Miaka a cup.  “Drink this, my lady.”  He forces it down her throat.
She slumps to the ground.  “That’s how we keep her quiet.”

    “Tamahome!  Wake up! No da?” Chichiri says as he rudely shakes Tamahome awake.
    “What?” Tamahome snarls.  He sits up and, recognizing Chichiri, asks more politely, “What?”
    “Miaka’s gone, no da!  Can’t find her, No da?  Looked all over, No da?”
    Tomahome didn't think he'd ever heard even Chichiri say that many 'no da's in one breath.“All right, all right.  Don’t panic yet.  We’ll go tell Hotihori.”
    They burst into Hotihori’s chambers.
    Tamahome warns, “Hold up!  He’s still asleep!”
    “No duh, no da?  It’s midnight, no da?”

***Author's note:  I'm sorry.  I had to put "no duh, no da" in here somewhere***

    “What?!?  You woke me up at-”
    “Hotihori wake up, no da?!!”
    “Quiet,” Tamahome snaps.
    “But-” Chichiri starts to say.
    Hotihori stumbles out of bed.  “What the-”  He glares blearily at Chichiri, “Who-”
    “Sire!!  Miaka has vanished, no da?” Chichiri exclaims.
    “Vanished?” Hotihori asks.
    “Not literally, Sire-” Tamahome tries to explain.
    “She is GONE as in not here no da?  I have looked all over, no da?  She has vanished.  Disappeared.  Captured possibly, no da?  Top priority, no da?  No need to panic, no da?”
    Hotihori *looks* at Tamahome.  “Tamahome, may I have a word with you?”  Chichiri straightens like a
chastened child.  Hotihori steps into the hall with Tamahome.  “Please tell me what happened in your own words.”
    “Chichiri woke me up and told me Miaka was gone.  I couldn’t stop him from waking you.  If he is so
worked up then we should get on it right away.” (pause, then curiously) “You don’t doubt his word, do you?”
    “No, I just... guess... (yawn) just not the best thing to... wake up too...”  Hotihori pokes his head into his
room.  “Chichiri, what are we waiting for?”
    They go to his throne and call the other warriors.  Before anyone besides Mitsukake can arrive, Suzaku’s
daughter, Ki-lin, appears.  “Miaka has been captured. (pause, that clearly reads, but you already know that) She’s
now in another world.  (challenging pause) You will follow and rescue her.”  She disappears.
    Chichiri finds himself with Ki-lin in the woods.  Ki-lin tells him, “Not all of the Suzaku Warriors can come
with you.  Choose carefully who you search with.”  She disappears, returning to Tai Itskun’s palace and her beloved
Amiboshi.
    Chichiri takes this in stride and climbs a tree to survey the land.  It’s identical to Konan.  What a relief.
    Tasuki falls from the air to the ground below Chichiri.  “Ow!  What does that little -” Nuriko and then
Tamahome fall on him.  “Arggg!  Get off me NOW!”
    Tamahome says, “What do you think she meant-”
   “I don’t care!”
   “-when she said everything is different-”
   “Well I suppose that’s exactly what she MEANT!”
   “-but then she said it was all the same-”
   “Oh, who cares!”
   “She said we should be suspicious of Chichiri-”
   “Yeah well lets kick some @&$!”
   Nuriko says, “Okay.  Chichiri is supposed to be here, lets split and look for him.  Be back here in an hour.”
   Tasuki storms off by himself, “Fine!”
   Nuriko shrugs and walks in the other direction.
   Tamahome grumbles to himself, “O.k.  Real stupid idea to split, but hey, who listens to me anyway?”  He
walks off in a different direction.
   Chichiri wonders what Tamahome meant about him.  He follows Tasuki in the treetops.
   Tasuki yells to the air, “If SOMEONE is FOLLOWING me they had better STOP NOW!!!”
   Chichiri (loudly) says, “Tweet!”  To himself he adds quietly, “No da?  I’m a bird, no da?”
   Chichiri thinks about Miaka.  It was his fault Miaka was gone.  He had been taking a walk when he heard
her get out of bed and start wandering about.  Instead of being cautious, he had gone back to bed.  He had waited but
she hadn’t returned.  Then he had worried.  Then he had started to look for her.  Too late!  She was gone!  This time
he would not be so foolish.  Ki-lin had already warned him about his companions.  All he could do, no should do, is
wait and see.
   He followed Tasuki by the sound of his grumblings.  Tasuki periodically talked to the air, “We had better
find you Chichiri!”...., “Ki-lin told us you would be here so there’s no use hiding!”...., “Do you WANT us to keep
you under lock and key when we find you?!?”...., “As soon as we find you we can search for Miaka and I’m makin’
@$&$^& sure we stay together!”...., “Chichiri you little !@(*#($*@^@$(unmentionables)#*&$(*%!!!  Where ARE
YOU!???!!”
   Thud.  Tasuki yells, “Ack!  Nuriko!,” as Nuriko runs into him.  Immediately after Tamahome does the
same.  “What are you DOING here?  What am I, some sort of human bowling ball?  You had better NOT be
FOLLOWING ME!”
   “We were looking for... um... wherever we’re supposed to meet in ten minutes,” Tamahome explains
breathlessly.
   Tasuki roars, “Well that’s kinda useless NOW, don’t you agree?!?”
   “Yeah, but-”
   “That little monk is nowhere to be found!”
   Nuriko calmly responds, “Then we’ll just have to go on without him.”
   Tasuki and Tamahome shout in unison, “WHAT?!?”
   Nuriko ignores them and continues, “Maybe he’s somewhere else on-”
   “Naw, really?  You mean since he’s not HERE he MUST be somewhere ELSE?!?  I don’t quite FOLLOW
YOU!”
   “We’ll just have to keep an eye out for him-” Nuriko started.
   “Like Ki-lin said,” Tamahome finished.  “Which way should we go?”
   Tasuki says, “Um.... Where are we?”
   “Uh...,” Nuriko says and closes her eyes.  She then proceeds to spin around, stopping in a random direction.
“That way!”
    Chichiri heads in the opposite direction.  Now his friends wouldn’t worry about him and he could look for
Miaka alone.  He’d give anything to have them beside him in a fight, but he could travel faster and quieter alone.
Besides, he had let Miaka wander and his friends shouldn’t have to put up with a guilty conscious.  He could already
picture how it would effect them.  It would make them feel guilty too and Chichiri wouldn’t be able to stand that.  Or
at least, that’s what he thinks.  Whether he is right or not doesn’t really matter that much, the most important thing at
the moment is that he decided to go alone even though he knew this was very dangerous.
    He comes out of the woods and into a nearby village.  Master of disguises, he goes through the village
unrecognized, even though he doesn’t know who could possibly recognize him.  He stops at a bar.  Chichiri may not
drink, but a bar is as good a place as any for news.  He leans quietly against one of the walls, generally unnoticed.
One very annoying person comes up to him and offers him a drink.
   “Don’t you wanta drink or somethin’?” the man asks.
   Chichiri refuses with a polite shake of his head.
   “Then whatcha standin’ here fo?”  Chichiri smiles knowingly but the man is undeterred.  “You seem like a
lonely fellow, you do.”  Chichiri avoids eye contact, thinking not very polite thoughts about the man going away.  “Is
you lonely, then?”
   Chichiri gives up his silent act and replies with infinite care, “Not that I know of, no da?”
   “Well, yews look lonely.  Want ta talk about it?”  Chichiri tries to politely fend him off by shaking his head.
   “Yew haven’ even told me yor name yet.”
   “You didn’t ask, no da?”
   The mans cackles.  “Well, I’ma askin’ ya now, aren’t I?”
   Chichiri tries mildly to confuse him, “I don’t know, no da.”
   The man laughs even louder and more grotesque.  “That’sa why I’m tellin’ ya!  I’ma askin’ ya!”
   “What, no da?”
   “That’s what I’m askin’ is fo yor name, boy!”
   “Boy, what boy would that be, no da?”
   “Ya!  What’s yer name, son?”
   “I don’t have a son, no da?”
   “No- I mean ta call ya son-”
   “I ain’t anybody’s son, no da?”
   “What??? Of course’ you is!   I’d liketa  hear you tell yor pappy that!”
   “Pappy?  What’s a pappy, no da?”
   “Why the man you call daddy of course!”
   “I don’t call any man daddy, no da?”  Chichiri decides talking to this man could be quite hilarious.
   “We’ll I’ma sure your pappy would mind you if he heard ya sayin’ that!”
   “I already have a mind, no da?”
   “So...” the man hesitates but continues laughing, “Why don’t you have a father, again?”
   “I don’t think I told you, no da.”
   “Well, that’sa why I’m askin’ ya!”
   “Ask then.  No da?”
   “That’s what I’m tryin’ to tell ya!  I already asked!”
   “Asked what, no da?”
   “Why don’t you have a pappy?”
   “Who said I didn’t have a pappy, no da?”
   “Why, gosh durnit, you did!  Holy fire!”
   “Tasuki?”
   “What?”
   “You said holy fire, no da?” Chichiri laughs.
   “Why so I did!  Yor the most consternatin’ fellow I’ve ever had a mind ta meet!”  Chichiri rolls on the floor
with laughter.  The strange man walks away completely confused.  Certain people glare at him.  Chichiri calmly
walks outside of the bar solely to give himself up to laughter.  Some people walking by call him drunk.   Chichiri
ignores them.  The bar tender finally comes out.
   “You need a ride home, boy?”
   “Boy?” Chichiri giggles.  “What boy?”
   The bartender growls, “A very drunk BOY standing in front of me, that’s who!”
   “I’m not drunk, no da?” Chichiri explains in vain.  The bar tender glares at him.
   “Where’s your home, boy?”
   “I’m not goin’ home anytime soon, no da?”  Chichiri says as he regains his composure.
   “You are if I have anything to do with it!  I’m not going to have some drunk rolling around in front of my
bar!”  Chichiri skillfully disappears into the shadows as the man is yelling.  “Hey, you little *%^&$%$$#!  I was still
talkin’ to you!”
   Chichiri lurks silently around the streets for at least an hour but hears nothing useful.  Discouraged, he
leaves the village and heads for the mountains.
   As always, you simply must encounter woods before mountains-

Chichiri: (giggling still) Why, no da?

Writer: Why what?

Chichiri:  That’s my job, no da!

Writer: Riiiiiiiiiiighhhht..........

Chichiri: Why are there always woods before mountains, no da?

Writer: It adds suspense.

Chichiri: No it doesn’t, no da.

Writer: I’m redefining suspense.

Chichiri: Why, no da?

Writer: Don’t start that again!

Chichiri: (suspiciously) What kinda suspense, no da?

Writer: The kind where interesting things can happen.  Why, what were you thinking of?

Chichiri: Not the kind where people die, no da?

Writer: No!  I never kill my characters!

Chichiri: Whew...

Writer: I only torture them!

 -as he was entering a clearing-

Chichiri: I thought you said the woods were for suspense, no da.

Writer: Shut up and let me finish!

Chichiri realizes one of us is insane.  He hopes and suspects it’s the writer who is.

Writer: Hey!

   Chichiri sees in the clearing a small group huddled menacingly around one apparently defenseless guy.  He
doesn’t even know what is happening, much less why, and stays in the shadows to find out.  The single guy seemed
to be having a rough time of it.  When the small group surrounding him had stepped back, a very badly bruised man
wilted to the ground.  Chichiri immediately felt sorry for not intervening earlier.
   A voice that Chichiri could have sworn was Mitsukake’s at the same time he knew that to be an
impossibility, roared an incorherible threat and lead the group away.  Chichiri thought in brief and well based panic
that he must be imagining things.  As soon as he realized his exhaution as a good bases for the panic, he felt
immediately better.  At least he wasn’t panicking for no reason.  He would just ignore the fact he had heard the
Mitsukake who wasn’t there yell obscenities.  He cataloged it somewhere in the back of his mind where he hoped it
wouldn’t be useful.  Things could get quite confusing if it was relevant.
   Of course, as irony would have it, it takes you much longer to read what he thinks, that much longer for me
to write it, and even longer for me to correct all the stupid typo’s, so all in all it takes Chichiri about two minutes
shorter to think that then all of us put together.  It took him just as long to wallow through the very simplistic thought
I stretched out to infinity-minus-one as it did for him to reach the heap of a man on the clearing floor.  Even though it
didn’t take Chichiri nearly as long as it may seem, the unfortunate man managed to stumble to his feet and look
around in a daze.
   The straightest course had Chichiri approaching the man from behind.  “Are you all right?  Took
quite a beating no da?”  The man took one look at the undisguised Chichiri and, frightened, collapsed in a dead
faint.   Chichiri carried the young man over his shoulder the way Chichiri had come.   He had passed a few cottages
and would take him to the nearest one.
   Chichiri knocked on the door.  Knock, knock. (duh)
   “Yes?” a lady asks as she opens the door.  She gapes in surprise when she sees Chichiri.  "Chichiri?!"
   Chichiri, seeing that the women is scared of him, said in an unfamiliar speech pattern, “No, Mam. I get that
a lot, Mam.”
   A big hulk of a man joined his wife’s side.  “What do you want, stranger?”
   “I found this man in the woods alone, Sir.  If you don’t mind, I’m kinda in a hurry and was hope’n you
could take care of him until he recovers.  I would take care of him myself, Sir, but I’m afraid I haven’t the time or the
knowledge how.  And anyhow, Sir, I don’t know who he is an’ I’m just passin’ through.”
   The big hulk of a man, who Chichiri would have called sir any day, relieved him of his burden.  Chichiri
tipped his hat and said, “Thank you, Sir, Mam.”
   “Why don’t you come in?” the lady asked politely.
   “No thank you, Mam.  I’d best be gettin’ along now.”  Without waiting for their good byes, Chichiri turned
away from the door.  When he had walked back past where he had found the man, which was far out of site of the
house, he breaths a huge sigh of relief.  He walks for thirty minutes more wondering why the lady had been afraid of
him and many other things.  He decides he can’t walk much further and sits down, hoping to get some sleep before
dawn.
   Chichiri immediately begins dozing with his back to a tree.  Before he can actually sleep, however,  he hears
small voices from behind him.  Half asleep, he listens contently.
   “I’ve never seen THAT fruit before!”
   “It looks like a pineapple!”
   “A blue pineapple. (giggle)”
   Two Nyan-nyans leap out of the bushes and bite him.  “YOUCH!  Itai, no da!”
   The Nyan-nyans leap back.  “Aieeee!  It’s alive!”  They scramble away.  A Nyan-nyan bubble lands in front of Chichiri.  Millions of Nyan-nyans surround him in an instant.  Chichiri yawns.
   “Don’t even think you can use your powers on me, Chichiri!!” the first Nyan-nyan says.  “You may be a Serriyu warrior but
I’m sure Serriyu won’t mind me teaching a trespasser a lesson or two!”
   Chichiri replies calmly, “I didn’t know I was trespassing, no da?”
   “Are you going to resist your fate, O’ wise one?” she mocks.
   Chichiri calmly waits for his fate, hoping she will tell him what it is so he can protest.
   “Take him to the dungeon!”
   Chichiri leaps up and fights the Nyan-nyans valiantly.  Several blasts of chi seem to get him no where.  Exhausted, Chichiri looks at their sheer number and finds it much wiser to give up.  There are simply too many to fight, even if he did have his friends with him.  Also, there is a very mild poison in Nyan-nyan bites that even Nyan-nyans don’t know about.  Chichiri falls to his knees.
   “Do you give up?” the leader smirks.
   Chichiri doesn’t answer.  He knows he can’t fight any longer even if there was hope.  He would have to
outsmart them.
   “Well, well, well.  Is the fiercesome Chichiri affected by some warriors’ disease?”
   Chichiri pants silently.
   “Get up!”
   Chichiri gets up with effort.
   “You will cower before us!”
   Chichiri falls weakly back on his knees.
   “Not that kind of cowering, get up!”
   Chichiri lowers his gaze in fake submission, too tired to stand.  “I’m much to tired.  What is... ‘my
fate’, no da?”
   “Take him to prison!  Drag him if you have to!”
   Three Nyan-nyans drag Chichiri away, chanting, “Fighting, fighting, kill! Kill!”

   Chichiri sits darkly in a corner.
   “I think we should move this whole thing out to the mountains,” Nuriko says.
   “I think we should hide someplace in the village,” Hotihori says.
   “What?!?  Are you crazy?  We’d be found in a heartbeat!  And with no defense!” Tasuki yells.
   “In the mountains we could-” Nuriko begins.

***Authors note:  yes, I know, a NORMAL Tasuki would love to go to the mountains.  Maybe he doesn't like Kouji?***

   “No,” Chichiri says coldly.  “We are staying here.”
   An uncomfortable silence fills the room.  Tasuki ignores it, “We can’t defend the whole palace, Chichiri!”
   “One room is enough.”  Everyone is positively still, scared that Tasuki yelled at Chichiri. Chichiri grins
mischievously.  He always has that effect on people.
   You know how there are two types of people, one with dark exterior and good interior, and one with good
exterior and a dark heart?  Evil Chichiri is neither.  He has a false dark exterior to make people think he has a bad
temper, which he does.  An evil shell is projected to make people afraid of him.  To make people think he was
ruthless and dangerous, to make them afraid of him.  Which they should be, because he is both ruthless and
dangerous.  Several layers of evil, blackness and heartlessness: pretext over pretense, all hiding the very thing they
portray: a very evil, viscous Chichiri.  Chichiri has a dark interior AND a dark exterior.  All this deceiving which
isn’t really deceiving makes for many layers of evilness in the evil Chichiri.
   Tasuki, however, has no false exterior, and lets out at Chichiri, “We can’t DO THAT!  It’s too OBVIOUS!”
   “Exactly,” Chichiri replies as cold as ever.  “It’s the last place they’ll look for their precious Miaka.”
   “OR the First!” Tasuki storms.  “And it’s not even good for morale because-”
   “Mitsukake?” Chichiri asks while seemingly ignoring him,  “You’re in charge of morale, are you not?”
   Mitsukake doesn’t answer.  Chichiri looks back at him with distilled anger, “Mitsukake?”  Mitsukake has
his head in his hands.  Chichiri walks over to him coolly and taps him on the shoulder.  Mitsukake jumps.
    “I-I’m sorry.  I’m not feeling well.”
   Chichiri ignores him.  “Any objections?  Good.  I strongly suggest we stay here.”
   Mitsukake gets up and leaves.  Chichiri follows him silently and stops him in the hall.  “Where do you think
you’re going, no da?”
   “I really don’t feel well...,” Mitsukake says, looking a little green.
   “You will stay until the meeting is over like everyone else.”  Mitsukake nods and they return.  Hotihori
reminds himself how dangerous a weapon Chichiri is.   Chichiri sits contentedly in a dark corner, apparently
oblivious to everything around him.  He watches Mitsukake a little worriedly.  Apparently Mitsukake is sick, and that
would make him inefficient.  The group wisely decides to stay at the palace as Chichiri suggested, and Chichiri finds
his presence much more effective when he is silent.  Everyone around him is noticeably nervous (except Tasuki)
when the group disperses because they think Chichiri is mad, which he isn’t.
   Chichiri scares Mitsukake half to death by stopping him in the hall.
   “You look sick,” Chichiri comments.
   Mitsukake nods.  He is sick.  And for all you Mitsukake fans, live with it.  He deserves it.  He is EVIL.  He
is the guy good Chichiri heard that sounded like Mitsukake that helped beat up that poor man.  Serves Mitsukake
right too, because he has food poisoning from the partying he did afterwards.  Ha, ha. :-) He eventually goes to bed
feeling terribly nauseous and even throws up a couple of times.  He’ll live.

   Chichiri is also poisoned (by the Nyan-nyans), but not nearly as much as evil Mitsukake.  In fact, it’s giving
him no discomfort at all as he is being dragged by the chanting Nyan-nyans.  He has resigned to wait for a good
opportunity to escape and the only discomfort he has is his quite natural exhaustion.
   The Nyan-nyans continue as they drag him, “Fighting, fighting, Kill! Kill!”

   Tamahome grumbles as they walk through the woods.  They have been skirting villages ever since they
arrived at the strange world.  They come to another one.  “Why can’t we just go in?” Tamahome asks in frustration.
   “Someone might recognize us,” Nuriko says.
   “Recognize us? RECOGNIZE us?  WHO??!!!??” Tasuki yells impatiently.
   Nuriko replies, “It doesn’t matter who.  We’re not taking any chances.  Besides, why would they HIDE
Miaka in a village?  In plain site!”
   “We don’t even know where we are,” Tamahome complains.
   “Well, where ever Miaka is...,” Nuriko says.
   “We don’t even know if we are there!” Tasuki yells.
   “Where ever THERE IS!” Tamahome whines.
   “It’s not like we could do anything about it...,” Nuriko says.
   “We don’t even know what- or -or- or- where we are supposed to do anything about!” Tamahome complains.
   “Just shut up!” Tasuki grabs hold of Tamahome’s throat frantically.  “We are HERE!”
   “Ow!” Tamahome whines.
   “AHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh! I can’t stand your whining anymore!” Tasuki yells.  Nuriko separates them.
They tramp off silently into the woods.  Tasuki glowers at Tasuki and Tamahome returns with a glare.  Nuriko glares
at them both.
   “Behave,” Nuriko warns Tasuki.  Tasuki clenches his fists.
   "Do you hear something?” Tamahome asks quietly.  They stop and listen.  They hear a far off chanting.
   “It’s sounds like Nyan-nyans,” Nuriko breaths.
   They hear small voices chanting, “Fighting, fighting, Kill! Kill!”
   “It IS Nyan-nyans!” Tamahome yells excitedly.
   “Who cares?” Tasuki grumbles.
   “Maybe we should hide,” Nuriko suggests nervously.  Tamahome gives Nuriko a funny look.  Tasuki trys to
see the Nyan-nyans.  Three Nyan-nyans drag Chichiri across Tasuki’s field of view.
   Chichiri yells urgently, “The Nyan-nyans, no da?  They’re evil, no da?”
   Tasuki stares in disbelief as a cute pink bubble lands in front of him, turning into a scowling Nyan-Nyan.
   A shrill voice eminates from the beautiful nyan-Nyan, “You will cower BEFORE ME!”
   Now it is Nuriko’s and Tamahome’s turn to be shocked.  Tasuki stiffles a giggle.
   10 1/2 innocent looking bubbles float through the air at leisure and land beside the other Nyan-nyan,
appearing as 10 identical Nyan-nyans and a midget Nyan-nyan.  Tasuki giggles out right.  The Nyan-nyans point at
the group and say in chorus, “You will cower before us!”  Tasuki losses it and barely stays standing.
   “Evil Nyan-nyans!  Ha!” Tasuki says and continues to roar with laughter.
   The first Nyan-nyan bellows in a cute, small voice, “Quiet or I will strike you!!!”  Tasuki quiets a little, but it is
not enough fo the Nyan-nyan, who shoots a bolt of lightning at him.
   Tasuki looks scared for a moment, until he realizes the bolt ia as big as the Nyan-nyans finger.  Tasuki,
Nuriko and Tamahome watch with curiosity as the tiny bolt touches Tasuki’s hair and disappears, doing about as
much damage as a cigarette burn.
   Tasuki really loses is now, rolling on the floor with laughter.  Nuriko looks away to calm herself down.
   Tamahome says, “I can’t believe it.  A mini bolt!”
   Tasuki has tears streaming down his face as he pauses to add, “Nyan-nyan bolts!”
   Nuriko and Tamahome burst out laughing.
   The first Nyan-nyan screams, “Silence!”  Silence fills the air until she says, “That is but a small wonder--”
   “Small indeed!” Tasuki howls.  “VERY small!”  Nuriko and Tamahome join Tasuki on the ground,
oblivious to the hoards of Nyan-nyans surounding them.

   The same people but in quite a different situation.  Chichiri is with them behind bars, apparently in ‘the
dungeon’.  Nuriko is bandaging up Chichiri’s arm.  Tamahome watches dully.
   Tasuki has the bars in a death grip and is yelling, “Let me OUT!  You freakin’ midget!  You better
^$&^&$% well wipe that smirk off your face or I’ll come over there and step on your little &^$#%^^@$ or
@&^%#&^$78 [crash] ow! ^#&^$#(*&^$@$#@%$&^%$&^#!!!  I’ll strangle that little--”
 The Nyan-nyan on the other side of the bars smiles, chanting, “Fighting, fighting, Kill! Kill!”  She happily brings
out a tiny bow and arrow.
   Chichiri sys, “Itai, no da?  No need to be rude, no da.  Those Nyan-nyans...  Small wonder,
no da?”
   Tasuki continues, “Oh no you don’t you little @^%@ @^##$!* twerp on drugs!  I’ll break your precious
LITTLE arrow--”  The Nyan-nyan shoots Tasuki.  He slumps to the ground and manages to say, “$@#%!!!” as he
tries to break the arrow.  He is over taken by the sedative before he can, though.
   The Nyan-nyan leaves.  Tamahome glances at Tasuki worriedly.  Nuriko finishes with the bandages.

Writer: He’ll be fine.

   Nuriko asks Chichiri, “Chichiri, what happened to your arm?”  Nuriko and Tamahome wait for his answer.
Tasuki lays passed out on the floor.
   “The Nyan-nyans, no da?  They bit me, no da?”
   “They WHAT?!?” Tamahome exclaims.
   “But why?” Nuriko asks, completely bewildered.
   “Called me a pineapple, no da?  A blue one, no da?”
   Nuriko and Tamahome give each other strange looks.  Nuriko says to Chichiri, “Maybe you need to rest...”
   Chichiri says, “We gotta get out.  We have to find Miaka,  no da.”
   Tamahome says thoughtfully, “But we can’t.  We’re locked in.”
   Chichiri suggests, “We could if we were Nyan-nyans.  Impersonate them no da?”
   “Why?” Tamahome asks.   Tasuki apparently has no comment and lies still.
   “To get us past the guards!” Nuriko exclaims.
   “We’re kinda obvious.  We’d be seen, we're too big, no da?”  Nuriko looks meaningfully
at Chichiri.  “Don’t look at me, no da?  Not a girl, no da?”
   Tamahome looks at Nuriko with the same meaningful expression.  “Oh no- no way, no how!  I’m not the guy with the hat: I can’t become mini-me.” Nuriko says.
   Chichiri adds, “Not gay either, no da?”  Everyone looks at Chichiri.  Chichiri stifles a groan.
   Nuriko adds, “Hey! I’m not gay!  I'm a travestite!  There's a difference!”
   Tamahome holds up a sheet in front of Chichiri and Nuriko.  He says, “Quick, before Tasuki wakes up.  I
want to see the look on his face...”
   Heard: “No way, no da?
   Heard: The occasional sound of clothes falling to the floor.
   Heard: “No!  Not like that, Chichiri!”
   Heard: “Not wearin’ that, no da?”
   Heard: “Stop whining!  And hold still, will you?”
   Tasuki shuffles to his feet.
   Heard: “I told you already, that’s not how-”
   Heard: "Daaaaaaa!"
   Tasuki growls, “What are you doin’ in there?!?”  He pulls the sheet down.
   Seen: A shocked, indignant and blushing Chichiri wearing a skirt and corset.
   Seen: An angry Nuriko in Chichiri’s pants.
   Tasuki pales and looks like he’s going to faint.  Tamahome has smartly closed his eyes.  Nuriko pulls the
sheet back up.  Tasuki whimpers unintelligently, and then pulls himself together.  He yells, “What the &%## do you
think you’re doing!?!”  Chichiri pokes his head out long enough to stick his tongue out at Tasuki.

***Authors note: !!!***

   Heard:  Tasuki’s thump as he falls to the floor in a dead faint.
   “Chichiri’s trying to look like a Nyan-nyan....” Tamahome tries to explain to the unconscious figure.
   Heard: “It's not my idea.  Not my fault they’re all girls, no da?!”
   Heard: “Shut up Chichiri!  Stop that!”
   Heard: “But it’s, no da?  Just strange, no da?”
   The sheet is pulled down again to reveal Nuriko and Chichiri completely switched, except that Chichiri is
still clutching his hat.  Chichiri ignores everyone and shrinks himself down to Nyan-nyan size.  Chichiri walks
through the bars and picks up the keys on the table.  Chichiri glances up and catches his reflection in a mirror.  He
pales and faints.
   Tasuki wakes up, sees Chichiri, and adds his two pence, “Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!  What do you think you’re
doing!!!?!!??  You can’t SLEEP on the job!!!!!!!!!!!  Wake up pineapple face!  You little @!^^!^*!~~$#(!!!  Wake
up or I’ll--”
   “SSSSShhhhh!” Nuriko yells.
   Tasuki jumps up and down like he’s going nuts.  Chichiri gets up with a moan, “Not a girl, no da...  Not
gay, either no da?”
   “Hey I’m not gay!” Nuriko protests.
   Tamahome mumbles, “Can a guy wear girls clothes and not have it be considered gay?  I don’t think so,
Nuriko.”

***Authors note:  HEY wait!  didn't he just call Chichiri GAY! AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!***

   Nuriko hits Tamahome.  Chichiri walks unsteadily toward the door.
   “Where do you think you’re going you freakin’--” Tasuki starts.  Chichiri locks the door.  “Oh.”  Chichiri
lets his friends out.
   “All right, lets go!” Tasuki yells with glee.
   “Shh!” Tamahome urges.
   They walk past the mirror on the way to the door.  Chichiri takes one look and says,  “I fell sick...
I’m not gay...  I think I’m gonna faint, no da?”
   “Shhhh!” Tamahome repeats.  Chichiri sways on his feet, looking a little green.
   “Would you like to change back?” Tasuki teases.
   “Ooooh...yes, no da!”
   “Oh!  I can’t believe all the fuss you’re making!  You have to be our Nyan-Nyan impersonator.”  Nuriko
says.
   “But why, no da?”
   “Because,” Tamahome explains, “you’re going to pretend to escort us someplace.”
   “I don’t understand, no da?  Why does it have to be mmmmmeeeee?”
   Tasuki taps his foot impatiently and then says, “I say we just bust our way out!”
   Nuriko says, “Don’t be a fool, they’d have us caught in a second!”
   “Let’s go!”  Tasuki says as he ‘bursts’ through the door.
   They all follow, and Chichiri, who is still midget size, can’t quite catch up.  “Hey!!!  You’re leave’n
me, no da?  I'm supposed to be the guard!”
   Chichiri stumbles and Tasuki picks him up.  “Put me down,  no da.”
   “You don’t feel well, do you Chichiri?”  Nuriko asks.
   “Must have been something I ate, no da?”  Mini-Chichiri curls up in Tasuki’s arms.
   Nuriko comments, “Awww,”  and gets a glare from Tasuki.
   A bubble comes up to them and turns into a Nyan-Nyan, “Where do you think you’re going?!  GUARDS!!!”
   Chichiri snores softly as millions of Nyan-nyans fill the hallway.  Nuriko tries to explain, “The Nyan-Nyan
was taking us somewhere when she fell ill.”
   Tasuki calmly puts her - I mean Chichiri - down as Chichiri snores “No da, no da.”  Tasuki calmly stands up
and barbecues the nearest Nyan-Nyan.
   “Take that you puny -”  But Tasuki’s words are drowned out (thank goodness) as war breaks loose.
Chichiri continues to be oblivious to it all and sleeps peacefully.

   Chichiri wakes up in a strange room with two Nyan-nyans.
   He hears: “I didn’t know the girl could shrink, too.”
   He opens his eyes and realizes he is full size.  He says glumly, “Not a girl, no da?  Not gay either, no da?”
    At the same time one of the Nyan-nyans takes off his hat commenting, "A fortune cookie!!!"
    “Hey, that’s mine, no daaaaaaaa!!!”
   “Aieee!” the Nyan-nyan shrieks as she drops his hat.  He picks it up glumly and shrinks down to nothing.
  “Hey, where’d he go?”

   Tasuki is stuffed in a bucket, water all the way up to his chin.  “AAAAAAAAAAAAahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
&^%#^%@^%@!!!!!!!!!”  The water starts boiling.  Tasuki decides for a moment it feels good.  He then continues,
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaAHHAAhahAhAAh!!!!
^#^%(*$^&%$@*&%*&”  (and on, and on...)

   Nuriko and Tamahome are now in separate cells, but in the same room so that they can see each other.
Tamahome sways on his feet and moans.  He faints.  Nuriko panics.
   “Tamahome?!?”
    (and, somewhere in the universe, a faint "Miaka!" is heard)
    The Nyan-nyan guarding them unlocks Tamahome’s cell, snickering, and leans over him.
Tamahome knocks her unconscious.
   He hastily opens Nuriko’s cell.  They exit into the hallway carefully.
   Nuriko whispers, “So you’re all right?”

***Authors comment:  T-ta-tama did a smart thing!***

   “Yup.”  They tiptoe along the hall, not quite sure where they are going or what to do when they get there.
They hear a very angry yell, laced with colorful metaphors.  They open the room where it seems to be coming from
and, naturally, find Tasuki.  Not quite so naturally, he is immersed in water.
   “What happened to you?” Nuriko asks.
   “They tried to drown me!”
   “Tasuki, I don’t think--” Tamahome begins.
   “They said I was too hot and that they would cool me off!  The nerve of those munchins makes me
wanna...”
   They free Tasuki and have to explain, with great difficulty, how they excaped.  When they thought they
were done, Tasuki asks Tamahome, “So you’re sick, then?”
   “NO!” Tamahome explains.  They eventually make him understand and begin creeping down the hall way.
Tasuki looks at them like they’re nuts and simply opens the door across the hall.  They are immediately engaged in a
minor fight with a few Nyan-nyans in the room.
   Before the last Nyan-nyan is knocked out, she says, “%^@*!$#!”
   Tasuki pales as Tamahome finishes her off and then says, “I can’t believe it! She knows more dirty words
than I do!”
    *facefualt!*
   Nuriko picks up Chichiri’s hat in the middle of the room.  “Do you think it’s Chichiri’s?”
   “Who else owns a hat the shape of a wok?” Tasuki asks impatiently as he snatches the hat from her.  So,
Tasuki, who is dripping wet, picks the hat up.  Tamahome busies himself tying up the Nyan-nyans.  Tasuki angrily
pounds on Chichiri’s hat.

Writer: I wouldn’t do that, Tasuki.

   Tasuki takes the hat and starts pounding it into a nearby wall yelling, “Chichiri if you don’t magically
appear for no reason that means we have to go find you, give you your freakin’ hat and explain how we got out all
over AGAIN!!!  So if you don’t walk in that door this instant you can just forget it because I’m not explainin’ it to
you and I’m not goin’ to carry this fortune cookie hat all over and-” (pound, pound, pound, plop)
   A chibi-Chichiri falls out of his hat and stumbles to his feet groggily, quickly growing to full size.  His mask
falls off and he grumbles, “Whatcha bein’ so loud for?  Trying to get some sleep, no da? (groan) Don’t
feel so well, no da?”
   Nuriko picks up his mask and puts it on him saying, “Why don’t you just get some more slee-”  Nuriko is
interrupted by the sudden and magical flash of Mitsukake’s appearance, but mostly because he stumbles into Nuriko.
  “Hey!” Nuriko says angrily.
   “Oh, hi! there ya are- how’d I get here anyway- the strangest thing happened- I was wandering through the
happy herbs when- but that’s not the important part- you guys just disappeared- right after Miaka- just poof, vanish-
but that’s not the important part- how’d you get here anyway?- that god, I forget his name- he came up and was
blabbin’ about Miaka and how she’d been captured by- why is Chichiri wearing a dress, is he gay too?- so anyway I
don’t even know how I got in the garden- but that’s not the important part- Nuriko, is that you?- So anyway, and here comes one of those bothersome Nyan-nyans again- I forgot to tell you- there were evil ones or something- but you probably already know that-”  He swats at the little bubble and brings out a net, “So anyway, there I was in the garden when bird dude appears- but that’s not the important part-” He captures the Nyan-nyan with the net, “The guy seemed totally mad for some reason- off the wall- I don’t know why, but anyway- I guess he brought me here-
something about this stupid net- oh yeah- the Nyan nyans can’t get out- or something like that,-”
   Chichiri shrinks down into his hat and mumbles, “Too loud, no da?  Shut up, no da?”  Then, as an
after thought, “No need to be rude,  no da?”
   “So anyway- that’s not the important part- Nuriko, you look faint- and then chicken or whatever yells his
head off at me and I’m like, OK whatever- he told me to tell you something- but that’s not the important part-”
   Tasuki pulls at his hair, “Just shut UP!!!”
    *SWEAT DROP!*
   A strange silence fills the room. Nuriko picks up Chichiri inside his hat and puts the hat on, “I suggest we
leave, now.”
   “How’re we supposed to keep him canned?” Tasuki asks, pointing at the intoxicated Mitsukake.  The strong
silent guy makes a sound like he’s gonna-  “Oh, yuck, don’t tell me he’s gonna barf?!”
   “I’m just feeling a little woozy- but that’s not the important part- the room won’t stop moving-”
 Nuriko interrupts, “Yes, but we need to get moving ourselves.”
   “What are going to do, carry him?” Tamahome asks.  Nuriko nods and  picks the swaying, pale faced man up.  Tasuki refuses to help.  They tiptoe out of the building and into the nearby woods.  It takes about an hour.  Nuriko sets Mitsukake down.
   Mitsukake starts saying as if he had never stopped, “So anyway- there I was with him yelling in my face
and- but that’s not the important part- where is Miaka?  Oh yeah, well, it had something to do with her-”
   “You lost me, what had something to do with Miaka?” Nuriko asks.
   Tamahome says with a bewildered look, “He lost me when he started talking about happy herbs.”
   “The important part- the part I’m supposed to tell you- has something to do with Miaka-”
   Chichiri mumbles, “Please be quiet, no da?  Feelin’ better but still tired, no da?”
   “So anyway- that’s not the most important part-”
   Tasuki comments, “Ahh!  Just tell us what the most important part is!”
   Nuriko says patiently, “Mitsukake, what is the most important part?”
   “I don’t remember.”
   “AAAAAHHHHHHH!” Tasuki adds.
   “Something about Miaka,” he continues.
   “We have a zillion evil dwarfs after us and you can’t REMEMBER the MOST IMPORTANT
PART???!!!!!   YOU who were just with the big birdie CAN’T remember?  In CASE you DIDN’T NOTICE, we’re
kinda STUCK on an INSANE version of our world which I will no doubt soon fit in PERFECTLY and we seem to
have RUN OUT of IDEAS and all you can say is you DON’T REMEMBER! @##$*^$%$@*%$!#
#^*!@^^^&$***!  Thanks to you, we now have TWO freakin’ idiots, one of which has been mistaken for a bruised
pineapple and the other of which just HAPPENED to have got himself DRUNK before joining our happy little
expedition and you’re both INCAPABLE of AIDING us in ANY way or even thinking for *&^%$# crying outloud!”
   In the process of Tasuki’s spouting, the strong silent type guy lays himself down next to a tree and falls
asleep.  “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
H*&^*&^$*^%$*$*&^$(^(‘n #&*&^)*&^)&^$(&$%#%$#^()EW&^$(EW&^^%#EW#Q&%&*AAAAAA
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAHA&%A&$H*A&H%*AH*AH&HA(H^*A%H%! (gulp of air)  I can’t believe
it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
   Chichiri mumbles from his hat, “Never heard those words before, no da?  No need to be rude, no da?”
   “AAAAHHH!!!  Just go to sleep, all of you!  I can’t stand you’re jabbering it’s given’ me a ^%$*^%$
headache and I get CRANKY when I have a headache!”
   “Obviously!  Good night, no da?”
   “AAAAAAHHHHHHH!  Shut up!!!!!!!!!!”  Tasuki says as his hair lights on fire.
   “Whoa,” Tamahome comments.  Nuriko dumps a bucket of water on Tasuki.  Tasuki sputters and he turns
dark red, blue, purple, and then passes out.  “Thank heavens.”
   They all fall asleep.  Tasuki wakes up in the middle of the night and storms off.  Nuriko follows with
Chichiri in his hat on Nuriko’s head.  Tasuki wanders into a village with Nuriko and the unwitting Chichiri in tow.
Nuriko hears a rustling in the woods behind them and jumps on the guy following.
   “Aaaaahhhh-mmmmphhhh!” Hotihori says as Nuriko covers his mouth.
   “Who are you?” Nuriko demands, uncovering his mouth.
   “The most beautiful creature on earth.  You-”
   “The what?”
   “Hotihori, of course!”
   “This is no time for games.  How do I know which Hotihori?”
   “Hunh?  Oh, right, different world- Suzaku said there was something I was supposed to tell you, something
he called ‘the most important part’-”
   “Have you been in the happy herbs too?”
   “What?  Who was in the happy herbs?”
   “Never mind, we have to find Tasuki: he stormed off.  Quick- what was this thing your supposed to tell
me?”
   “Oh- now I forget.  Hey, why are you wearing Chichiri clothes?”
   “Long story- come on and shhhh!”

Writer: tee he

   Hotihori follows Nuriko into the village.  “Who are we looking for again?”
   “Tasuki- shhhh!”
   “Shouldn’t we-”
   “Shhhh!”
   “Where is-”
   “Shut up!”
   “But-”
   “Shut UP!!!”

Writer:  He *is* the emperor, Nuriko.

Nuriko:  Not here...

   “There!”
   “Hunh?”
   “We should look in there!” Hotihori says, pointing toward a bar.
   “No dip, now be quiet!”  The two- or rather- the three including poor Chichiri, walk up to the bar windows.
Nuriko looks in and says, “I think that’s him...”

   Tamahome woke up feeling uncomfortable from sleeping in the woods.  He looks around him and sees
Mitsukake but not anyone else.  “Where did everyone go?”  Mitsukake shrugs.  “What’s going on?”
   “I believe we should look for the others.”
   “No kidding.  Let’s go.”
   They wander through the woods like idiots and find the village just before dawn.  They walk in casually and
notice people shying away from them.  Tamahome starts strutting.  They suddenly see Chichiri stretching and
yawning but he is pulled behind a building.  Naturally they head in that direction.

   “Shouldn’t we go stop him?” Hotihori asks.
   “I told you already, it’s too late.  He’d fallet us in an instant.  Just look at how people are scared of him!”
Nuriko says.  Chichiri yawns and stretches.  Nuriko pulls him back behind the building.  “Stay here!”
   “I think I missed something, no da?  Just woke up.  Are we undercover, no da?”
   “Hush.  Hotihori is right.  We need to get him out of that bar,”  Nuriko says and looks in.  She sees a very
drunk Tasuki leaning over another glass.  Tasuki is still mad that they are even on this 'crazy mission', as if it's any dfferent than the rest.  It’s almost dawn and Tasuki glares at the person nearest him who backs away, frightened.  “He’s been drinking since midnight.”
   “Oh no, don’t look at me!  Not goin’ in there, no da?”
   Tamahome appears around the corner with Mitsukake, who looks a little hung over but doing well
considering.  Tamahome asks, “What now?”
   “Glad you found us, no da?  Tasuki’s drinking, no da?”
   Tamahome looks into the bar and says, “That is veeerry bad.  Someone needs to go in there disguised and
get him out.”  Everyone looks at Chichiri.
   “Oh brother,  I’ll do it, but why me?  Nuriko is undercover too, no da?”
   Hotihori says, “All right, then.  Chichiri and Nuriko will go in and drag Tasuki out.  The rest of us will
cover you.”  They look into the bar again and see two hooded figures enter and sit next to Tasuki.
    They all sensed the disturbing life-force of Serriyu.
   “Better go in now, before he flames them, no da?  Maybe the Serriyu won't recognize us.  this isn't our world, and we don't need to be causing trouble, no da!”  Chichiri says.
   They go in and sit on the other side of Tasuki, with Chichiri the closest to him.  Before they can say
anything, the hooded figure on the other side of Tasuki says to him, “What are you doing here?  You promised to
stay away from that stuff and you scared us half to death, no daaa!?!”
   “Hunh?  So I scared you to death, did I?  Who are ya...?” Tasuki slurrs.
   The hooded figure lays a firm hand on Tasuki’s shoulder.  Tasuki’s cheeks darken and the hooded figure
says, “Let’s go now.  You know he’ll want to have a word with you.”  The other hooded figure steps behind Tasuki
and lays a firm hand on his other shoulder.
   Everyone in the room tenses and Tasuki says, “I ain’t leavin’!”
   “Psst... Tasuki.  Had enough, no da?  Better go now, no da?” Chichiri whispers.
   “And you!  You little wimp monk!  I’ll tell YOU when I’ve had enough!”  Tasuki says.
   The hooded figure on the other side gives a hand motion to his companion and he backs off.  The first
hooded figure throws back his hood, revealing an un-scared Chichiri.  Tasuki turns toward the imposter blearily and
says, “Hunh?  What do you think your doin’ scaring me like that- I thought you were on the other side!  Stay away
from me you muliti-colored fruit!” he slurrs.  The other Chichiri looks confused for a moment and then glares at
Tasuki.
   “You’re very drunk.  You’re leaving now!”  The other hooded figure throws back his hat and reveals a
Nuriko- and is dressed as a man!
    A moment of confused silence.
   The real Nuriko gasps and Chichiri says, “Oh no, too many Chichiris, no da?  Not enough
Tasukis, no daaa?”  The real Nuriko gives the real Chichiri a confused look.  The fake Chichiri stares in
bewilderment as if just realizing who he was looking at.
   He is at the real Chichiri’s side in a moment and says, “All right!  What do you think you’re doing
impersonating me?  Not the safest thing in the world, no da?  And dressed as a girl!  To be sure you’ll die slowly,
no da?”
   “Not an impersonator, and I'm not gay either, no da?  Quite a long story, no da?”
   Both Nuriko’s stare open mouthed at each other.  “Eew, you’re straight!” the real Nuriko says.
   “And you’re not!?” the other Nuriko says.
   Tasuki roars, “I don’t care WHO you are!  I’m not leaving!”
   “Got a job to do, no da?  You’re drunk, no da?  Need to go NOW, no da!” the real Chichiri says.
   Tasuki says “NO!!!^%^*%%##!$#@(%(& not goin’ &^$^*%$*!!!!” and starts flaming everything in sight.
He then sits back down at the bar and orders another drink, but the bartender left long ago.  He gives up and lays his
head on the counter.  In the meantime Hotihori and the others run into the bar, but so do some bandits and another
Hotihori.
   Both Hortihoris look at each other and the real one says, “I never seen anything so beautiful!”
   The other Hotihori says, “I can’t believe I have to mar such a pretty face!”  Everyone starts fighting and
the real Chichiri makes the unconscious Tasuki small by putting him in the ‘fortune cookie’ hat.  Kids: don’t try this
at home.  Soon both parties flee as they are worn out.  Our party, however, has an extra reason as millions of
Nyan-nyans are soon following, chanting, “Fighting, fighting, kill! kill!”  They lose them but not before reaching the gate
between Konan and Kuto.  They stumble, badly hurt and dead tired,  to the guards on the other side because they’re
too tired to even notice where they are.  The guards, of course, stop them and try to question them but it’s no use.  In
the end, several people are hurt more, a few are knocked over the head, and all of our gang ends up unconscious for
one reason or another.

   Chichiri is deep asleep when he feels some small animal stepping on his back.  “Nnng...” he mumbles and
turns on his side.
   The animal says, “Merrow?” and rubs it’s head against him.  Chichiri snores contentedly.  The cat starts
pushing it’s claws into Chichiri’s side.  Chichiri shows the first signs of waking up and pushes the cat away.  He turns
over again and the cat persists, stepping on his stomach.  Chichiri turns on his other side and mumbles in his sleep.
The cat walks beside his head and says, “Mer?”  Chichiri hugs the cat to him in his sleep.  The cat changes it’s mind
and says, “MEERROOOOOW!” which is no doubt ‘help’ in cat language.  Chichiri opens his eyes and lets go.
   “Sorry Tama-neko, I didn’t meant to scare ya.  Woke me up, no da?” he said slowly and sat up,
noticing his throbbing headache.  “Ohhhhh...” he groaned.

Writer: psst... Chichiri, someone’s watching you.  Turn around.

   Chichiri turns around to see Nakago, his enemy, watching him from a doorway.  Chichiri fights down panic,
remembering in a heartbeat that everything is opposite on this world.  Still, he can’t help but be worried.  “daaaaaaaaaaa...,” Chichiri says, his voice trailing off as he notices his mask is gone.

Writer: I could have told you that, but you didn’t ask.  Don’t you even wonder where you are?

   Chichiri tries not to be distracted by the writer and wishes he could tell her to ‘buzz off, no da?’.  Instead
he asks Nakago, “Where am I, no da?”  Nakago looks at him critically and starts to approach carefully, as if he
can’t believe his eyes.  Which he can’t: Chichiri is still in a dress.  Nakago reminds himself that Chichiri is badly hurt
and needs his wounds redressed.
   “You’re at the palace.”  Nakago comes right up to the terrified Chichiri and starts unwrapping a bandage on
his forehead.  Chichiri wishes he could ask the writer about Nakago.

Writer: Forget it, I’m not telling you what they’re like.  That would spoil the whole story.

   Chichiri bites his tongue because Nakago is hurting him by rewrapping the bandages.  He asks, “Where’s
everyone else, no da?”  Nakago’s eyes narrow in apprehension as he finishes with the bandage.  He looks about to
answer when Chichiri hears a crash.

Writer: I wouldn’t move Chichiri, it’s only Tasuki.  (Writer thinks, oops)

   Chichiri literally leaps out of bed, out the room and down the hallway, stopping outside the door where a
stream of obscenities can be heard.  I don’t think I need to repeat them, you get the idea.  Chichiri rushes into the
room with Nakago close behind him who says, “You shouldn’t be up--”  Nakago falls silent at the site of Tasuki
backed up against the opposite wall, the walls closest to Chichiri smoking and Soi backing slowly toward the door.
   Chichiri approaches Tasuki dizzily.  “Tasuki, it’s Ok, no da?”  Chichiri fights to control his voice as the
room spins around him, neitherless he is at Tasuki’s side in a moment.  Tasuki is, of course, hung over and doesn’t
realize it’s Chichiri until the last moment.
   “Chichiri that’s-” Tasuki begins, referring to Nakago and Soi.
   “All right, no da.  Different world and all, no da?”  Tasuki reflects for a moment on how weird that
sounds.  Chichiri tries to guide the angry and confused Tasuki back to bed saying, “Better lie down, no da?”
   Tasuki fights Chichiri and says forcefully, “NO!”  Nakago watches with interest, ready to bolt out of the
room, or help, no one can tell.  Tasuki fights Chichiri more, “No!  Let me- oh-...”  Chichiri lets go and Tasuki runs to the bathroom.  Chichiri turns to Nakago nervously.
   “He has a hangover, no da?”  Nakago looks surprised and instantly suspicious.  He comes closer to
Chichiri, who, to Chichiri’s utter disgust, is still dressed like a woman.  Chichiri has an idea and rushes to the
bathroom, locking Tasuki in.
   “You should really be lying down...”  Nakago carries Chichiri to Tasuki’s bed and, putting Chichiri down,
leans over him menacingly.  Chichiri realizes that he just locked his only known aid in the bathroom.

Writer: (encouragingly) Don’t worry, Tasuki wouldn’t have been able to help.

   Chichiri swallows nervously.  Nakago says, “You’re Chichiri, and yet- that’s impossible.  Last I checked,
Chichiri was a man and dressed as one.”
   “I-I’m Chichiri.  it's quite a long story.  Not gay, no da?”
   Tasuki says, “LET ME OUT!!!!”  Sizzling noises are heard.
   Nakago says, “Well, Chichiri... I thought you’d given up that habit.”  Chichiri looks utterly confused.
   “Do you mean to tell me you don’t have an inkling of what I just meant?”
   “I don’t know, no daa?  You’re speakin’ in riddles, no daaaaaaa?”  Chichiri fights back his dizziness.
   “And that scar... certainly not recent... and yet... I have recent reports that say that scar doesn’t exist...”
   “(groan) um... Nuriko!” Chichiri says to the figure who just entered the room.  “Change now, no daaaaaaaaaaaaaa?
Pleeeasee?”
   Nuriko takes in the scene and says, “... Ok....  Can we have some privacy?”
   Tasuki says, “AAAAAHHHhhhhhhhh!”  Nakago leaves reluctantly, feeling that he almost had the answer.
   When Nakago comes back, Chichiri is in his own clothes and Nuriko is in mans clothes, because they had
decided it was best not to confuse Nakago anymore than necessary.  Nuriko is bent over Chichiri worriedly and
looking at the deep wound on his head.  Nakago knocks on the open door.  “Come in,” Nuriko says distractedly.
   Tasuki says, “&*$*^%$!  Why won’t anyone tell me what’s happening!?!!  Let me OOOOUT!”
   Chichiri starts to get up but Nuriko says, “Oh no, you don’t...”  Nuriko lets Tasuki out.  While Nuriko’s
back is turned Chichiri gets up and follows her.

Writer: Um... Nuriko?

   Before Nuriko can answer the writer Tasuki looks at Chichiri, wears a look of utter panic for a moment and
then yells angrily, “All right, that’s IT!  Everyone out of here NOW!!!”  Tasuki flings Chichiri onto the bed,
increasing Chichiri’s headache and making him veeerry dizzy.  Tasuki glares at Nuriko and Nakago and they leave
quickly.  “Go find a doctor or something USEFUL!  This man needs rest NOW!”  Soi is nowhere to be seen.
   “Oooooh...,” Chichiri complains when the room refuses to settle itself.  Tasuki paces nervously, muttering
under his breath.  Chichiri hears the voice of Hikou telling him to lie still.  Chichiri panics and realizes he must be
semi-delirious.  He says, “Tasuki...?”
   Tasuki rushes to his side, “What?”
   “I don’t feel well, no da?”
   “Yes, I know.  Just don’t talk, all right?  Try to get some sleep or something...”
   Chichiri falls into something that can’t quite be called sleep, memories of all types flashing before him.
Like having your life flash before you only selectively and slower.  Chichiri wakes up to someone’s moaning and
realizes it’s his own.  Mitsukake is rebandaging his head.  “Owww...” Chichiri complains.
   Something cold touches his forehead and Chichiri hears, “He’s still got a fever...”  Chichiri falls back into
restless ‘sleep’ again, waking up this time to seeing Tamahome.
   “Here, drink this Chichiri...,” Tamahome says half to himself.  Chichiri accepts the drink pressed to his lips
and notices his throat is sore.  Chichiri is awake and asleep like this many times, finding Tamahome or Mitsukake
next to his bed.  He doesn’t know it but there was always at least two other people in his room.  He wakes again with
Tamahome checking his forehead.  All Chichiri really notices is that his hand is really cold in comparison.
   Chichiri reaches for Tamahome’s hand and catches it saying, “Cold, no da?”  His voice is a poor
carictature of the strength he had before.
   Tamahome looks surprised and relieved, “Yeah, you have a fever still...”  Tamahome reaches out of
Chichiri’s sight and produces a cup.  Chichiri realizes he has tunnel vision before Tamahome says, “Drink this...”
Chichiri refuses the drink and tries to talk, but Tamahome stops him.  “Please don’t refuse it again, Chichiri... you’ve
been terribly sick...”  Chichiri lets him pour the liquid down his throat.  Tamahome produces a bowl as Chichiri
notices Mitsukake is behind Tamahome, looking extremely worried.
   “Wha...?”
   “Shhh... don’t talk.  Just eat...”  When Chichiri is done eating Tamahome says, “Whew... glad you’re back
Chichiri....  We couldn’t get you to eat or anything.... ” Tamahome gets up to leave.  “You just get some rest, OK?”
   “Tamahome....,” Chichiri says urgently.
   “What?”
   “Where ya goin’, ya know?”
   “I just- I thought...,” Tamahome says with a frown, considering.  Mitsukake leaves.  “You don’t want me to
leave, do you?”
   “No...,” Chichiri says with a sigh, feeling a little foolish.  Tamahome sits down near Chichiri.
   “Are you feeling better?”
   “Yeah...”
   “Well, you were moaning in your sleep....  Callin’ out names....”
   “Hikou?...”
   “Yeah, how’d you know?”
   Chichiri switches the subject.  “Had experience with sick people, haven’t ya?  Ya miss your father, no da?”  Tamahome’s cheeks flush and Chichiri adds quickly, knowing he hit to close too home, “I sure miss home.  Don’t even have anyone to go back to, no da?”
   Tamahome softens considerably.  “What did I tell you about restin’?  Get some more sleep.”  Chichiri is
quickly asleep.  Real sleep this time.  He wakes up feeling considerably refreshed.  He sees Mitsukake standing next
to his bed and Tamahome asleep beside it.  Chichiri asks, “What time is it, no da?”
   “Five in the morning.”  Mitsukake sticks a thermometer in Chichiri’s mouth.  When he takes it out again he
frowns.  Tamahome stirs and stands up.
   “Good mornin’!  It's early, you should be in bed, no da?”
   “Oh.... Um, yeah....,” Tamahome says.  “You’re sure you’re all right?”
   Not quite ‘all right’, Chichiri summons up his strength so Tamahome won’t worry.  “Yeah, just tired.  Should be asleep, no da?”  Tamahome leaves after glancing worriedly at Mitsukake.  Mitsukake sits on the bed and watches Chichiri.  “What is it no da?”
   “Nothing.” Chichiri turns on his side so he can’t see Mitsukake and tries to go back to sleep.  After a while
he turns to see Mitsukake looking at him.  “Mits, what is it?”
   Mitsukake looks a little worried and checks Chichiri’s forehead.  “Nothing.”
   Chichiri decides Mitsukake is just being weird and he turns over again.  An hour or so later he looks at
Mitsukake, who is still looking at him.  Chichiri gets a little frantic.  “What?  Daaaaa...  Stop starin’ at me, no da?”  Mitsukake checks Chichiri’s forehead and frowns.  “What?  What is it no da?”
   “You still have a fever.  Why aren’t you asleep?”
   “You’re makin’ me nervous, no da?  Always lookin’ at me, no da?”
   Mitsukake relaxes a little, gets out a book, and starts reading.  Chichiri falls asleep.  When he wakes up
again, Mitsukake is patiently looking at him.  Chichiri shifts uncomfortably.  He looks around and notices Tasuki in
the room as well.  Tasuki asks, “Hey, Chichiri.  How ya feelin’?”
   “Fine, no da!”  Tasuki breaths a sigh of relief and leaves.  The writer considers yelling at him but
decides against it.  Mitsukake begins to leave as well.  “Mits?...”  Mits turns around to face Chichiri.  “What all’s
been happenin’...  Think I missed a lot, no da?”  Mitsukake hesitates.  “What’s goin’ on, no daaaa...”
Chichiri pleads.
   “We found Miaka.”  Chichiri sits up.  Mitsukake hesitates again, knowing he is exciting Chichiri.  “She is
being held by her double.  Suzaku returned Hotihori to our world because he was needed at the palace, and
something about ‘the most important thing’.”
   “The most important thing?  Well, what was it, no da?”
   “Apparently it was exactly that- where Miaka was.  Suzaku said that had been the only reason Hotihori was
here.”
   “Well?...  How’re things now, no da?”
   “We are planing to sneak into Konan and retrieve Miaka.”
   “*When*, no da?”
   “You’re not coming.”
   Chichiri thinks about this hard, but not long.  “Yeah right!  I’m fine, no da?  Could use my help, no da?”  Mitsukake doesn’t even bother to repeat himself but challenges Chichiri with a commanding stare, crossing his arms and pressing his lips together hard.  Chichiri sinks back into bed with a reluctant sigh.

   The Priestess Yui Hongo, Nakago (da blonde general), Amiboshi & Suboshi (CUTE Twins),
Soi (Amazon), Ashitare (Half wolf- half man), Tomo (darth maul wannabe), Miboshi (little baby looking thingy) and
our gang, Nuriko, Tamahome, Tasuki, and an evil Nyan-nyan are having a meeting.

Nuriko: Writer, haven’t we had enough of the Nyan-nyans?

Writer: Well, OK.  All except the Nyan-nyan.

   The baby lookin’ thingy -I mean- Miboshi, looks about to speak when Mitsukake enters the room.  Mits
sounds a little perturbed as he says, “He insisted.”  Chichiri steps into the room sheepishly.
   “Konichiwa, no da?” Chichiri greets as he finds a place at the table.  Mitsukake looks questioningly at Nuriko and
Nakago.  Nuriko shrugs and Mitsukake takes his seat.
   Nakago gets several questioning looks from his group.  He says, “Chichiri, would you please keep your
mask off?”
   Chichiri pales a little and asks, “Why, no daaaa?”
   “Your scar is about the only proof we have that your not of our world,” Nakago explains.  Chichiri takes his
mask off.  His scar is a predominating feature as usual because the wounds on his forehead have healed completely,
reminding everyone how long he has been sick.  Chichiri mumbles something inappropriate about the writer.

Writer: Hey, I heard that!  You shouldn’t even be up, Chichiri!  I have a mind to make you pass out or something, so
if you don’t prove you’re well, then you’ll find yourself in bed before you can even blink!

   Murmurs are heard from Yui Hongo’s gang.  “Would you please explain how that came about?” Yui asks.
Chichiri gives her a confused look.  “That scar-,”
   “Oh,” Chichiri says seriously, “It's a long story.  I don’t want to talk about it, no da.  What about Miaka, no da?”
   Nuriko comes to Chichiri’s rescue, “Chichiri’s right.  We need to focus on freeing Miaka.”  Nuriko turns to Chichiri and says, “We’re planing on sneaking into Konan.  This should be fairly simply because we’ll be mistaken
for our doubles.”
   “And then what, no da?”
   Tasuki says with a gleam in his eyes, “We wing it!  If someone gets in our way, barbecue!”
   “Who’s goin’, no da?”
   Mitsukake says sternly, “Everyone from our world who is in *proper health*”
   Tamahome says, “We’re coming right back as soon as we have her and then...”
   Nuriko, “It’s up to Suzaku then.”
   Chichiri, confused still, asks Yui, “Thought ya served Seryiuu, no da...”
   Nakago shutters, “No, we don’t.  We serve Suzaku.”  A knock is heard at the door and Nakago gets up to
answer it.  Hikou appears in the door. Chichiri is all over him in a moment with shameless hugging, jumping and
laughing.

***Authors note:  also known as a 'glomp', but that doesn't sound as serious ^.~ ***

   “Ha ha!,” Chichiri says with delight.  “Hikou!  Glad ta see ya, No DAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!”
   Hikou punches Chichiri, leaving him shocked.  Hikou says, “You left me for dead and now you DARE to
show your Face HERE!?!”  Hikou runs out of the room shamefully.  Chichiri remains shocked and trembling.
   Yui returns Tamahome’s questioning look.  Tamahome explains, “Hikou’s dead on our world.  Chichiri got
that scar trying to save him.”  Chichiri looks abashed.
   Nakago says, “Our Chichiri left Hikou to drown.  We found him unconscious and fished him out.”  Chichiri
wavers like he’s going to fall, and then takes a hesitant step toward the door.
   “Chichiri, you shouldn’t run after him... he’s not the guy you know and he won’t understand,” Nuriko says
gently.
    Chichiri looks undecided.  Mitsukake walks to Chichiri’s side.  Mitsukake says, “Chichiri, it’s not Hikou.”
Chichiri runs out of the room, Mitsukake follows, motioning for no one else to follow them.
   Everyone sits in stunned silence.  Mitsukake returns later completely out of breath.  It takes him a while to
be able to speak and he says, “I didn’t find him.”
    Chichiri cries himself to sleep in the forest.  They look all through the night but don’t find him.  They give up and sneak into Konan, but tell Yui’s group to ‘keep an eye out.’  Everyone thinks Chichiri went to Konan ahead of them but they don’t find him on their way to the palace.
 

***Authors note: wwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! Don't worry, *sniff* it get funnier! ***
 
 

Evil Chichiri:  Writer!

Writer:  What?

Evil C:  I want some answers and I mean now, no da?!!!

Writer:  Well, what?  And watch your mouth, I could have you stuck with Suzaku...

Evil C:  What’s this whole deal with the scar?  Everyone else’s double look the same!

Writer:  Your forgetting Nuriko.

Evil C:  Well, they’re different to show how stupid nice Nuriko looks...

***Authors note: yes, I think cross dressing is silly, but I like Nuriko, and evil Chichiri wouldn't care about hurting Nuriko's feelings***

Writer:  And your missing a scar to make you more despicable.

Evil C:  Usually the evil guys are the ones with the scars, no da?  All you did was make me look soft!

Writer:  [Sigh]  It’s because you didn’t try to safe Hikou.  That’s how good Chichiri got his scar and that’s why it
makes you more despicable.

Evil C:  Well, I don’t need a scar- or no scar- or whatever to make me more evil!  I am the embodiment of evil!  My
acts alone should be enough!

Writer:  Yes, well, you don’t have much action in the story so we need something visual.  The readers don’t know
you well enough.

Evil C:  That’s it!  Scar or no scar I’m gonna show you all how evil I can be, no da?!!!!?  I’m gonna have my own
action and there is nothing you can do to stop me!

 Evil Chichiri runs off with an evil sounding, "Da ha ha daaaa!"

Writer:  Hey, where do you think you’re going?  You can’t hide from me!  I’m the writer for gosh sakes!

Evil C:  According to my contract you can’t follow me and you can’t stop me unless I say so!

Writer:  All right, that’s it!  Someone get me the guy who wrote that contract and I’ll let Tasuki light into him!

   “There she is!”  Hikou says, pointing inside the building.  After having things explained to him, Hikou has
come with our gang in the hopes of finding Chichiri.
   Through the window and tied by her wrists to a wall, the good Miaka sees them.  “Oh!  Help me!  Help
me!”

Writer:  Shut up Miaka, you dip wad!  Do you want the evil Miaka to wake up!?

   Miaka looks at the evil, sleeping Miaka and shudders.  She does the smartest thing she’s ever done and
shuts up.  Nuriko carefully opens the window, and says, “Lift me up.”  They all start going in through the window
with Nuriko first.
   “Remind me again why we can’t use the door...,” Tasuki whispers with annoyance as he struggles through
the window.
   “It’s locked, idiot,” Nuriko says.
   “What did you call me you-” Tasuki shouts but is interrupted by the writer.

Writer:  Shut up you flamin’ retard!

   The evil Miaka stirs.  “Shhh...,” Tamahome urges.
   They creep up to the good Miaka and Tamahome works the irons off.
   Tasuki says in whispered horror, “Where’s Hikou?  Chichiri will kill us if he finds out we lost sight of him....”
   Tamahome finishes freeing Miaka and everyone looks around silently for Hikou.
   Nuriko calls softly, “Hikou...?  If this is some sort of game....”

Writer:  Hey guys, the evil Miaka left...

   “Lets -um- get out: now,” Tamahome says.  They leave through the door and run into the woods with
Miaka.  Miaka is strangely silent.  Tamahome leans over Miaka as she sits near the base of a tree.  “Are you all
right?  You’re not hurt, are you?”
   Miaka shakes her head airily.  “Ill?” Tamahome asks.  Miaka ignores him.  “Um, Miaka...? ...Mits?  Can
you come over here a moment?”  Mitsukake crouches down next to Miaka and frowns.
   “Miaka?” Mitsukake asks.  Getting no answer, he checks her fever and pulse.  “Miaka, how do you feel?”
   “Tired...,” Miaka says.  Tomahome glances worriedly at Mitsukake.  Mitsukake does a few more checks.
   “Well, what is it?” Tamahome asks.
   Mitsuake shrugs.  “She’s drugged.”
   “Come on we have to go!  Who knows who could be searching for us now!”  Nuriko says as she picks up
Miaka.  They go through the woods and stumble into a clearing.  Evil Chichiri drops down from a tree on the other
side.  He is only a few feet away from Tasuki and the rest of the group.  He has Hikou at knife point.

Writer:  Chichiri, you little- I’ll get you for this!

   “You rely too heavily on your precious powers,” evil Chichiri sneers as Tasuki brings out his fan.  “What
you seem to have forgotten is that a simple tool can be just as deadly.”  Tasuki looks about to flame evil Chichiri.
“Ah- ah- ah, what will reach first, gentle Tasuki?  A knife pressed at someone’s throat, or your flames?  And a knife in
the right spot can be very deadly...”  Everyone stands poised.  “Give back the sweet lady Miaka.”  No one moves.
  “Now!” evil Chichiri hisses, pressing the knife closer to Hikou’s skin.  Hikou remains passively still.
   Nuriko puts Miaka down as if to give up.  Evil Chichiri gloats, bringing his knife away from Hikou to gleam
in the sun.  “See this blade?” Evil Chichiri asks.  “Quite sharp, no da?”
   Someone suddenly leaps out of the shade behind evil Chichiri and unto his back, accompanied by the
figure’s yell, “AAAAAaaaahhh!”  The figure wrestles evil Chichiri to the ground and away from Hikou, who starts
gulping for air.  Before anyone can collect their senses, evil Chichiri is pinned to the ground, his knife in the his
attackers hands and pressed against evil Chichiri’s throat for a change.
   “You!” Evil Chichiri hisses in disgust as he realizes it’s his own double on top of him.
   “Chichiri!” Tasuki and Hikou yell in surprise.  The field is immediately filled with the evil Miaka’s gang and
battle erupts.
   The good Chichiri is oblivious to it all and yells at his duplicate, “I can’t believe you were gonna kill him
again, no da?!?”  He presses the flat of the knife hard against evil Chichiri’s neck.  “I should kill you now!!!  Just like you were gonna, no da!!!”  Someone stumbles over Chichiri and the blade starts cutting into evil Chichiri’s flesh, terrifying both Chichiris.  It would have killed him to, except that’s when Tamahome grabs Miaka and our whole gang is transported back to their world by Suzaku, including the knife in Chichiri’s hand.
    Besides, I can’t kill off a Chichiri even if he’s an evil one.  It’s just not right.
   A badly hurt Chichiri falls to the ground and cuts his hand.  “Da?”
   Hotihori runs out of the palace they are now in front of and asks, “Mits, what happened here!”
   Mitsukake replies, “I’d tell you, Sire, but frankly I just don’t know.”
   Tasuki runs over to Chichiri and asks, “What were you doin’ scaring us to death like that?!?”
   Chichiri says with delight, “The Nyan-nyans, no da?  They’re a little preoccupied, no da?  Kinda tied
up, no da?”  Tasuki stares in amazement, realizing the distinct lack of Nyan-nyan attacks on their way to Konan.

   “-aAHhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHAAAAAAHhhhhhhhhhh&%#*^%$*^%$HHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”  a tied Nyan-nyan
screams.   She is the only one because she got out of her gag.  The rest of the bindings won’t budge. “%I&^(&^%$$^$%
%($ I’ll get you for this, Chichiri you %$#&87&*^$&^%#$^#&#&%#&543#@!~*$$#$@!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

   Millions of innocent looking bubbles approach our gang and land three or so feet away.  They chant,
  “Healing, healing...”  They begin to approach gleefully.
   Tasuki starts throwing flames in their direction.  They back up, squealing.
    *Sweatdrop*
   “They’re here to help.  Good Nyan-nyans, no da.” Chichiri says.
   Tasuki bellows, “I don’t want to see another Nyan-nyan as long as I live!  I can’t tell you how LONG I
could go without it!  In fact, I don’t want to see one when I’m DEAD EITHER!  So the next munchin who steps
forward is TOAST, literally! Ya hear me?!!!!!!!!!!!!!”  Mitsukake and Hotihori detain Tasuki.  A crowd of
Nyan-nyans smother Tasuki and everyone else.  “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhAaaaaa!  Stay off me you little $#%#mmmmpppphhhhhh!” Tasuki says as Mitsukake covers
his mouth.