Disposition 
To feel alone while surrounded by people 
Only waiting for someone who understands to accept my embrace 
I stand with arms wide open waiting in the mist of all the people 
Most walk by and ignore my open arms, my waiting embrace 
The others see it, turn, and walk the other way 
Left to feel alone while surrounded by all these people 
To feel alone within myself 
Am I really standing with my arms open 
When someone starts excepting the embrace 
I push them away with these once open arms 
To make sure that I don't take another opportunity, 
To insure failure 
To see my goals and make sure I never achieve them 
To travel the road polluted on the side 
With discarded dreams, unachieved goals, and missed opportunities 
The road of self-destruction 
Not physically but mentally and emotionally 
To glance over past successes 
And to focus on past failures 
While insuring to create new failures 
To want one thing but to insure never to achieve it 
This is my disposition 
               Jason Roark