Rule #1: (get your attention?)
- don't send virus warnings out on an email list - at least not
you've either done the research required to verify that the virus is
and the warning is warranted, or the warning came to you directly from
an authoritative source (CIAC, McAfee, etc). Feel free to
Information page for information and related links.
to a message, make sure you're not quoting more than is absolutely
from the previous message. Not only does the extra
people's mailboxes, but some people pay per-minute phone charges. For
all extra traffic costs extra money.
ALSO - BE
KIND to the "Newbies" - Those
new to e-mail. If you'd like, have them check out:
E-Mail Help and Tips
(thanks to the Internet Archive Wayback Machine!)
Notes" from Teri:
you and thankyou ahead of
time for your fellowship! Your gifts, input, prayers, and
are a valuable addition to the Body of Christ, so don't be shy!
some wisdom gleaned from previous
experience and scriptural studies--the great majority of this was
by dysfunctional lists and the attitudes of their moderators, as I
and studied and sometimes stuck my nose in. The
rest is inspired
by the Lord showing me how human I am (What a revelation!! ha ha), and
the concerns/reports of others.
On words that may cause
people mean to sound insensitive,
mean-spirited, hard-nosed, and inflexible, and sometimes they
Also, sometimes when someone touches upon a area sensitive for us
we may find ourselves reading into messages something that wasn't
there. We may be reacting to what we think they said, when the reaction
isn't necessary. Or, it may be an overreaction.
can sometimes happen in verbal or face to face situations. How much
likely is this when it comes to e-mail? Remember, smileys and
symbols have to be used to try to convey emotion (and they can only
just so much, and no more). Because we do not see or hear the person
is talking to us by e-mail, we need to be conscious of this fact!
interesting Biblical study on
misunderstandings, please follow the story of a misunderstood tribe of
Israel in the following scriptures:
32:4-14, Numbers 36:22, Joshua
4:12-13, Joshua 22:16, Joshua 22:26-27, and Joshua 22:31
see that the other tribes of
Israel misunderstood an entire tribe of people, and this almost led to
the slaughter of this tribe by their brethren. Even
the tribe, and it is clear that Mose's perceptions were influenced by
rebelliousness of others in the past. However, Moses was not
enough to swing the sword against a people who did not get a chance to
SO, my advice is:
For the ungracious judge:
do not jump to conclusions.
first if there is even the slightest
chance of a misunderstanding.
- If you
need to question or critique someone's
wordings, try wording it similar to: "It sounds like you are saying
and give others a chance to respond.
let things slide by which you feel
are important to question/address. Feel free to ask for input from the
individual or even the group/others who are witnesses to the
You may find others do not see it as you do, or the other person may
they really DO sound like that! Either
way, it's not the end of the world! (we HOPE)
It is not
kind nor is it Biblical to
twist another person's words for them, insist that you know their
according to your individual perception, and then pounce on them or
them the silent treatment accordingly. Yes, people should be
for communicating as well as they can and as graciously as they
Knowing how they sound can help them do that. However,
should not have to labor under a perfectionistic and ungracious
to their words. Please be kind and don't bump people with your own log
while you go on a splinter hunt (Matthew 7:3)!
On heated discussions
been people who tentatively
wonder if debate is allowed, and there are others who don't want to
with a list cluttered with senseless arguments. Some say to
hit the delete button, but sometimes that is not adequate enough for a
list in danger of disintegrating into foolish debate. In
the group does not need to be held hostage by someone's inappropriate
allowable and can be healthy.
However, I look for a debate to be constructive rather than
Here are what I consider to be the markings of a constructive debate:
lists, or semi-moderated
lists if something is disintegrating and becoming heated or redundantly
repetitive (without any additional value), my suggestion is for anyone
discerning to call a TIME-OUT.
scriptural basis, testimony or something
'meaty' to back up positions
to scripture/spiritual points
issues kept to, rather than peripheral,
useless points being brought in to divert from main points
absolute absence of personal attacks
(labeling, cutting remarks, etc.)
decrease rather than an increase in personal
defensiveness (having to defend oneself from real or perceived attacks)
Time-Out is called it is not intended
as a personal cut on the individuals involved.
Step back, cool off if you
need to, pray about it, study the Word, and definitely take it off the
list publicly. If you continue the debate privately with person or
debating, then let us know if your private e-mails lead
anything useful to share to the list. Iron sharpens iron, so
one man sharpen another (Proverbs 27:17)!
your personal time away from this debate (time to regroup and study)
something useful to share with everyone, feel free! But let's not let
list be taken over by senseless debate (Titus 3: 9-11)!
Time-Out is called, other list
members can object to it or agree about it -- to say they are getting
out of the debate or not.
Time-Out is called, each person
involved in debate has the right to send one last e-mail list to the
so they may say what they wanted to say and do not feel cut
After the last e-mail, it is strongly urged they observe the Time-Out.
Lastly, for the
content of your private or public communications, it may be helpful for
you to stop and think, just as our friend John Painter recommended on
The Internet is a
resource. But, to get the best use out of it requires care.
writing on the 'net, I try to ask
the following questions:
three questions are enough
to stop me from writing.
therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, entreat you to walk in a manner
of the calling with which you have been called,
with all humility
and gentleness, with patience, showing forbearance to one another in
being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of
There is one body and one Spirit, just as also you were called in one
of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father
all who is over all and through all and in all.
whom am I writing?
am I writing?
would I feel if someone else wrote
this and I had to read it?
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