The words "He's not a team player." have been used in our culture as
an insult to a person's ability to work well within a team.
Sometimes the insult is deserved, and sometimes it is not.
Play
and work are an important part of our lives, and those who can play
together can also work together. It's not about skills as much as its
about the certain principles we learn during play. The following is a
tribute to the importance of play, and on learning how to be a good
'team player':
Hopscotch
This game is all about drawing squares and jumping over a
pebble. It
looks easy, but don't let that fool you. Throwing pebbles and hopping
over them
is not as easy as it looks! That's okay, because this game isn't really
about
pebbles as much as it's about building confidence. Trying and failing
is part
of life, and things get easier upon doing it again and again. People
can watch
until they feel like joining, and it's up to them when they want to
join. They
can watch forever and that's okay, too. The real excitement of the game
is the
fact that anyone can do it, and everyone is invited at any time. The
rules are
easy on purpose; anyone can explain them to you, or you can just figure
them
out by watching. Whether playing or watching, everyone gets to laugh,
argue
together over the size of the squares, and poke fun at one another when
they
miss. And then we all try again.
Marbles
It is thought that girls favor Hopscotch, while Boys favor
Marbles. Whatever
society thinks, either game can be played by both. So if you feel
Hopscotch is
too childish or sissy, it just means it's time to move on to something
else,
like the game of Marbles. In this game, you get to draw
circles in the
sand instead of squares on the asphalt, and get to use marbles instead
of
pebbles. Marbles are neat and cool. If you've lost your
marbles or never
had any, that's okay because Jesus can help you get them. But
you have to
have marbles in the first place to start the game.
You'll find while sitting here in the sand with the rest of
us, that some
marbles are considered prettier and fancier than others, yet a plain
marble is
just as cool when it's the only one in the pile or when someone wants
them for
their collection. Pretty is relative, and weird is cool. One
man's junk
is another man's treasure, and so it is with marbles. If your marbles
are
different than anybody else's, that's great. After all, the important
thing is
that they are smooth and round! We get to trade with each other, or
compete
with each other if we want to for the different marbles. Sometimes,
nice
players will even give you their extra marbles when all is
done. However,
it's not as easy to jump in or quit in the game of marbles as it is in
the game
of hopscotch. That's because marbles are at stake in the game, and they
are not
the same as pebbles! So if you pick up your marbles and go home over
the
slightest provocation or difficulty, don't expect other players to
chase after
you. Some experienced players believe that players who quit so quickly
just
aren't worth the trouble. High commitment people know that if you don't
have
any commitment to play, you will just quit easily again later. It's a
real
bummer to have a game disrupted while you make your grand exit. They
might
think you are better playing something more for younger children or
sissies,
like hopscotch. It is likely that they will continue their intense,
focused
play and not concern themselves with you. It's not that you
are not
valuable, it's that you need to have some perseverance.
If you have lacked commitment and been a quitter before,
perhaps you can
identify with John, also called Mark, in the book of Acts. John once
abandoned
the game and deserted Paul and Barnabus in Pamphylia. Barnabas wanted
to invite
John-Mark back in the game, but Paul was not willing to take the risk
of him
quitting again. Paul and Barnabus hotly disputed this just as much as
serious
kids playing marbles would dispute over whether to let YOU back
in. In
the end, Paul choose Silas as his new companion, someone he could
trust, while
Barnabus and John-Mark did just fine playing marbles somewhere else. So
don't
despair if you have been a John-Mark. God will use it for your
instruction and
get you in the game again, either in the same circle or in another one.
It's better to feel the shame of being a quitter, and then
return a little
more grown-up later. What if people like Paul and Barnabus
chased after
you when you were the one who left in the first place? Some people do
that, you
know, all because you carry real pretty marbles with you. They'll put
up with
your lack of commitment or your poor-sport attitude for a while until
they get
that marble they wanted so much, and then tell you to buzz off because
your
attitude is not worth putting up with you. Who wants to watch
you pout or
slouch, making everyone else feel bad around you? Who cares
if you pick
up and go home so quickly, except for the lack of marbles in the game?
So when you take your marbles up and go home, certain that
it's everyone
else's fault you are quitting and certain that the game isn't worth
your
trouble, you can look at whatever pretty marbles you have all by
yourself.
After you get tired of looking at your marbles all by yourself, you
might
decide to go bury them in the backyard until Jesus comes back. When He
asks you
what marbles you won while on earth with the marbles He gave you, you
won't
have much to show! Just the same boring marbles...
Once you've learned that playing the game is worth more than
not playing the
game, and holding on to your marbles is not worth the loss
of character,
you will not care about who has which marbles so much. You can go on to
the
next class of games.
You may have already been introduced to this next class of
games by having
snowball fights. Snowballs are real neat because you can make
them
yourself and throw them at people. People can get socked real
good by
you, and you can all have a good laugh. You can hide behind
trees or
walls of snow to get your opponent better, or you can get on top of the
hill
and throw down. You can even get teams together and really belt it out
with one
another. When winter is over or if snow is unavailable, you can go play
other
games like Dodge Ball. The principle is the same since you get to throw
a ball
at someone, and they get to try to hit you too.
The
Tennis or
Racquet Ball Match
Pretty soon the ball becomes smaller and you are using tennis rackets
or
racquet ball rackets. These are competitive sports where the
purpose is
to one-up your opponent, just like in snowball fights.
Some people don't like competition, and they may even think of
all types of
conflict are bad. But God is not interested in taking you on
to becoming
a 'team player' until you've mastered the art of conflict, because
conflict is
for our growth.
One of the main things we learn in these types of games is to
hit the ball
within the lines. If we do, we can gain a point. If we don't, we
automatically
lose a point or forfeit our turn at whacking the ball. This
is not the
game of Marbles, where the marble can shoot past the boundary. So, we
have to
learn our backhands and forehands well if we are to have a chance at
succeeding
in this game. Inappropriate backhands and forehands grieve
the Holy
Spirit, and so when you hear the call made of "Out!", just say
good-bye to the Holy Spirit for awhile until you get your chance
again.
So with this at stake, we will review some examples of the type of
things which
grieve the Holy Spirit:
The inappropriate backhand
(passive-aggressive behavior):
The silent treatment as a punitive measure, purposely ignoring someone
(Jesus
only did this to the man who beheaded John the Baptist. Have you done
something
like that lately? Do you deserve to be treated in such a way?); gossip,
backbiting and reviling and other-behind-the-scenes behavior
-- (These
are done WITHOUT talking to the person about what needs to be talked
about, of
course). Purposely doing the exact opposite of what is
perceived as the
other person's needs or wants or requests; purposely failing in sullen
rebellion, and then claiming you were interested in completing the task
The inappropriate forehand (aggressive
behavior): Labeling,
judging, categorizing and criticizing statements about another person's
character (this is not the same as describing one's behavior and what
it did to
you, of course, but many don't understand the difference. It is also
not the
same as Christian reproving or rebuking, which are correct, appropriate
forehand moves. Again, some religious people don't know the
difference).
Vicious forehands can include false accusations and curses, and other
forms of
verbal abuse. Aggressive behavior can, of course, mean really losing
all
vestiges of civilized behavior, and running across the court to attack
our neighbor.
However, beating someone up with 'just words' is still beating someone
up.
When we are not loving our brother and sister enough to stay
within the
boundaries, getting the upper hand has become too important to us. Even
protecting ourselves from something can become too important, when it
is
motivated by insecurity and fear. Unproductive and
unnecessary conflicts
are about power-struggles, egos, and fear. Therefore, they
are likely to
contain all kinds of interesting foul maneuvers which the Holy Spirit
never
thought was up.
Still, there is hope for us who keep hitting the ball
out-of-lines. If
we've learned bad form from a poor instructor and are determined to
learn it
right, that's a good thing. We have a new instructor, Jesus. He can
show us the
proper way to swing the racquet and hit the ball.
When the other player plays in the most rotten way possible
and is not
interested in being appropriately Christian, we have the choice of not
playing
with them anymore. People learn that it's not worth playing
with a bully
or a cheater in childhood, yet somehow it seems that all common sense
flies out
the window when someone calls themselves a Christian. Maybe that's
because we
keep hoping for unity, peace, and brotherhood, the things that all
Christians are
supposed to enjoy. We may feel obliged to keep trying, and
play with a
member of the club. Clubs are not the same as Christian teams, however.
When we have learned something about not grieving the Holy
Spirit and the
bond of peace, we can shake each other's hands in the end and still be
buddies
who have just played a fine game of appropriate conflict. We have
learned it's
okay to disagree with one another on peripheral issues, and that we are
all one
in Christ. We are finally ready to play on teams.
Softball
or
Baseball
There are variations of this same game, yet they are all pretty much
the same
type of game. This game is a team game with rules that are not hard for
anyone
to follow. Just like hopscotch, there is no barrier to easy
inclusion
into the game.
However, sometimes people feel hurt before the game even
starts because they
are the last one picked for the team. The test for you is not to get
sour on
playing games, and remember that Jesus said the first are last, and the
last
are first. You don't have to understand it all to trust that
what He said
is true. If you remember this, you might not care so much
what order
people are picked. And anyway, Jesus will always pick you no
matter what
others think of you, and then you can really surprise other players who
didn't
see you through His eyes.
The neat thing about this game if the fact that there are
specialized
roles. At first everyone might want to be the pitcher, but he
has to put
up with heckling sometimes and that's not so glamorous. Then the
catcher seems
important because they get to wear special armor, but it's a hard job
to sit
there and get balls flung at you. Umpires are often
not well-liked
by anyone and often misunderstood, but then again they have great
eyesight along
with the authority that comes with that job. And if you are
in the
outfield, it may seem like you have less responsibility, but don't go
to sleep
because a ball may come to you! The 'water boy' seems the least of all,
until
it's a hot day.
This is where everyone learns we all need each other, and one
is just as
important as the other, and we should do the best we can at our jobs.
If we
don't learn that, the game will be more frustrating than fun. And, if
we don't
come up when it is our time to bat, then Jesus will get another one who
is
willing. Girls can play just as well as boys in team sports like
baseball. Sometimes, there will be all-girl games or all-boy
games, but
Jesus didn't mean for us to segregate. That's why he gave the higher
gifts to
girls, too. If the boys have trouble with that, perhaps they
should go
back to Marbles or Hopscotch and learn what they missed there.
Cooperation is the task to learn on team games. If
you spend your time
fighting or sleeping, you are not busy paying attention. Not
being alert
means a roaring lion might come get you. And if you are foolish enough
to throw
a ball at a teammate's head, Jesus doesn't take too kindly to that. You
should
know who your enemy is, and no one said you were supposed to be like
the enemy,
too. It is better to go back to snowball fights, if you like
to throw so
much.
Football
Some are just as pleased as punch with baseball, and others
don't find it
exciting or fast-paced enough. They are ready for something more
complicated
which take greater cooperation. I've chosen football because it's a
more
complex game with more rules, requiring a high degree of team unison.
The card
game of Bridge involves complex team playing too, but most everyone is
more
familiar with football. Plus, football has a coach.
Jesus is the coach, and He knows where to place people, when
to switch their
roles, and when to call them to rest on the sidelines. Football is a
rigorous
game; no one can play forever without getting tired. Therefore,
everyone has to
sit on the sidelines and rest up sometimes. We can always choose to
disregard
His direction and listen to our own wills, or make the quarterback king
of the
hill and listen to his will only, but then we will lose the game
against the
enemy if we practice such foolishness. Coaches have
information
quarterbacks just don't have. He always has a game plan, and
if we listen
to Him well, we will all do just fine. Sometimes He speaks through
people, and
by now we ought to have learned to listen for when that happens, too.
If we are
too proud to hear through people, we definitely get confused and
disoriented.
The Coach speaks to whom He will speak to and relays his messages, or
He may
speak to the whole team at once if He likes, and all will hear. The
message is
important, not the messenger.
In baseball, we learned to yell out "I got it!" when the ball
is
coming to us. Here, we need to communicate and listen much more than
that. For
instance, it's not an advantage for team members to keep their
activities and
intentions secret. In fact, experienced players know that
these players
are much like the inconsistent marble-players of earlier times.
Secretiveness
and keeping vital information to yourself conveys a sense of power and
independence for you, but it spells major disaster for the rest of the
team. Everyone thought you were going one way, when you
suddenly went the
other, leaving a nice hole in the field for the enemy to take advantage
of. You
have betrayed the the whole team!
So
let's review what we
learned in play, so we can be fine 'team players':
- Inclusion
- Confidence and security
(It's okay to try/okay to fail)
- Commitment
- Gifts are important, and
yet are not everything
- Conflict happens/Be
ready to receive it as well as you give it
- Stay within the
boundaries of good play or you'll lose
- All Are Important in the
Body of Christ
- Cooperation
- Stay awake and be
discerning
- Interdependence, not
willfulness
- Communication, openness,
and honesty
Team
principles aren't too hard for us. Let's play!
postscript: by
Teri
Lee
Earl © Copyright 1997 All Rights Reserved ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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by Teri Lee Earl, Copyright 1997, HarvestNETwork, posted at the following
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http://www.harvestnet.org/teamplay.htm
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