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This dream published as part of "Diary of Dreams"

Inclusion vs Exclusion

"The Participation Dream" -1996

I sat in a circle of people. I was the only female, and I was the youngest.  The emphasis was that I was the youngest throughout the dream.  The rest considered themselves 'mature' in the Lord--even some were obviously well-known 'prophets' of the day.  I sat there with much to offer, and yet I was totally ignored.  They even had a vote to chose the head leader amongst them, and although I would've chosen the same person, I was completely bypassed as even having a voice to vote.  I went through many intense negative feelings over this ostracization, although I remained silent. It boiled down to being overlooked because no one expected that I had anything to offer.  My self-esteem was not affected (miraculously) I knew 'who' I was in the Lord.  I finally rose up and challenged them all with the fact that they even passed me over in the voting process.

They did not hear me.  Instead, they continued to act as though I were invisible. Suddenly a prophetess walked into the circle.  She offered to pray for me (the only one to do so).  I agreed and she did--hand on my forehead. Then she prophesied over me about the Lord God Himself would give me a 'title' (in Him) to replace a previous 'label' (something not of Him) I had before.  But my feelings did not change, and I walked out of the circle of people. For awhile I walked around and sang, "The broken and the contrite of heart the Lord your God will not despise--Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord and He will lift you up..."

Later, I soon found someone who had just been in that circle meeting. He included me a little by showing me a cross he was constructing on the floor.  I discovered he was the leader that the others had chosen. I launched into emotional expressions of how I had been so discounted. I said, "You people obviously don't need me--You have made that clear! You don't even ask me questions!  I would do more for the Lord by staying at home and teaching my daughters to memorize the scriptures than to sit in your silly meetings!" It was not bitterness but it was said as an outburst in exasperation and despair over the situation. Then I ended with, "I am frustrated from 2000 years of not being able to participate!"  This person listened and only made short comments. His stance was receptive. When I had finished, he asked, "Can I give you a hug?"  I said, "Yes!" and the dream ended as I was weeping out all the pain from those years upon his chest.  Then I woke up with questions to
the Lord.
 

This dream is related in full.  It was not as clear-cut or obvious as the other dreams I have had before.  For instance, I questioned whether this dream was about myself at all, because although I had experienced these negative feelings in the past, I not not experienced them quite like they were in the dream..

Upon further prayer and reflection, I understood that the Lord was telling me some things for myself as well as giving me understanding of those who wanted to commit what I thought of as a form of 'spiritual suicide'.  Just prior to the dream, I had met four Christians, men and women, who were prophetically gifted and yet who had expressed the desire to just walk away from the Body of Christ as they knew it-- permanently. They were very serious, and I was completely overwhelmed at their state or how they got there.  They were devoted to the Lord but wanted nothing to do with Christians, ever again.  They did not differentiate between sick fellowships or healthy ones, or false Christians and true.  They had truly had it.  They could just assume have nothing to do with all Christians ever again.

What the Lord was showing me was that if a person is ignored and discounted, they will experience these feelings.  There is no way to get around it.  If anyone were to suggest otherwise, then I would say with some confidence that they have never experienced the pain of having something to offer yet being completely ignored.  At least not for any length of time.

For instance, if the air around us is "chilly" then we get cold.  We are not the ones who brought the cold with us into our environment, but instead our environment brought the cold to us. Obviously the circle of people at the beginning of the dream were 'cold'  A person who is allowed to sit in at their 'group' but not participate begins to feel the 'chill' of their 'cold shoulder' treatment.  There is a sort of arrogance inherent when a person or group of people assumes that a 'younger' person other than themselves has nothing to offer.  So it would be for anyone they decide is not really worthy of their attention or inclusion.  I certainly felt their subtle arrogance in the dream.

Another problem that was demonstrated in the dream was that participation was only for the properly titled or 'recognized' few.  This is of course not how Christ would have a fellowship operate, but many religious groups do.

I sent this dream to quite a few people because I did not understand the comment of "I haven't been able to participate for 2000 years!"   Almost every one of them suggested that I represented the Holy Spirit or Jesus.  However, I suspect that the 'leader' was Jesus and if their theory was true, I represented the Holy Spirit.  This would make more sense because everyone would vote for "Jesus" to be the Leader.  Even as they do so though, this does not mean they permit the activities of the Holy Spirit.

Some of the people I sent the dream to, commented that the Church has been messed up ever since Constantine built church buildings.  Certainly, I would say that 'fellowships' like this have been running like this for 2000 years or so, and will probably run like this for another 2000 years.  What I mean by this is that a priest/laity division is hard to get over.  This is where only the recognized 'priests' get to offer their gifts and only they run the show, while everyone else is left out.

Finally, the fact that 'prophets' in the dream were involved in the 'inner circle' reflected what I already had come to realize:  It was never a matter of what type of 'leader' you thought you were but your heart attitude.

This dream certainly had multiple meanings.  I include it because yet again, the Lord was speaking to me about GRACE.  We must have grace upon ourselves --realizing that when we are ostracized, we will certainly feel it in more ways than one!-- and upon others too... It is good to act like the person who was the Leader and not as the  titled or 'recognized' people in the circle.  Arrogance makes us blind.  Once blind, it is so easy to be totally unaware of people who really should be included.  When we have an elitist mentality it is impossible for us to notice the leading of the Holy Spirit to include someone rather than just assume they are 'lesser' or not as important as we think we are .

Of the people I sent this dream out to, one person wrote me back the following: "It used to take me a long time to realize that the very thing I was seeking ministry for, was often the psychological effect of ongoing rejection by the very ones I was seeking ministry from. That's nothing but abuse."

This section of "Diary of Dreams" is part of our Prophet 'Un'School

See also: Prophecies Regarding Women 


"Whoever welcomes you welcomes me, and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me.  Whoever welcomes a prophet in the name of a prophet will receive a prophet's reward; and whoever welcomes a righteous person in the name of a righteous person will receive the reward of the righteous; and whoever gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones in the name of a disciple--truly I tell you, none of these will lose their reward." (Jesus, in Matt. 10:40-42 NRSV)

What should be done then, my friends? When you come together, each one has a hymn, a lesson, a revelation, a tongue, or an interpretation. Let all things be done for building up. (1 Corinth. 14:26 NRSV)
 
 

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