dream published as part of "Diary of Dreams"
I sat in a
circle of people. I was the only female, and I was the youngest.
The emphasis was that I was the youngest throughout the dream. The
rest considered themselves 'mature' in the Lord--even some were obviously
well-known 'prophets' of the day. I sat there with much to offer,
and yet I was totally ignored. They even had a vote to chose the
head leader amongst them, and although I would've chosen the same person,
I was completely bypassed as even having a voice to vote. I went
through many intense negative feelings over this ostracization, although
I remained silent. It boiled down to being overlooked because no one expected
that I had anything to offer. My self-esteem was not affected (miraculously)
I knew 'who' I was in the Lord. I finally rose up and challenged
them all with the fact that they even passed me over in the voting process.
This dream is related
in full. It was not as clear-cut or obvious as the other dreams I
have had before. For instance, I questioned whether this dream was
about myself at all, because although I had experienced these negative
feelings in the past, I not not experienced them quite like they were in
They did not hear me.
Instead, they continued to act as though I were invisible. Suddenly a prophetess
walked into the circle. She offered to pray for me (the only one
to do so). I agreed and she did--hand on my forehead. Then she prophesied
over me about the Lord God Himself would give me a 'title' (in Him) to
replace a previous 'label' (something not of Him) I had before. But
my feelings did not change, and I walked out of the circle of people. For
awhile I walked around and sang, "The broken and the contrite of heart
the Lord your God will not despise--Humble yourselves in the sight of the
Lord and He will lift you up..."
Later, I soon found
someone who had just been in that circle meeting. He included me a little
by showing me a cross he was constructing on the floor. I discovered
he was the leader that the others had chosen. I launched into emotional
expressions of how I had been so discounted. I said, "You people obviously
don't need me--You have made that clear! You don't even ask me questions!
I would do more for the Lord by staying at home and teaching my daughters
to memorize the scriptures than to sit in your silly meetings!" It was
not bitterness but it was said as an outburst in exasperation and despair
over the situation. Then I ended with, "I am frustrated from 2000 years
of not being able to participate!" This person listened and only
made short comments. His stance was receptive. When I had finished, he
asked, "Can I give you a hug?" I said, "Yes!" and the dream ended
as I was weeping out all the pain from those years upon his chest.
Then I woke up with questions to
Upon further prayer
and reflection, I understood that the Lord was telling me some things for
myself as well as giving me understanding of those who wanted to commit
what I thought of as a form of 'spiritual suicide'. Just prior to
the dream, I had met four Christians, men and women, who were prophetically
gifted and yet who had expressed the desire to just walk away from the
Body of Christ as they knew it-- permanently. They were very serious, and
I was completely overwhelmed at their state or how they got there.
They were devoted to the Lord but wanted nothing to do with Christians,
ever again. They did not differentiate between sick fellowships or
healthy ones, or false Christians and true. They had truly had it.
They could just assume have nothing to do with all Christians ever again.
What the Lord was showing
me was that if a person is ignored and discounted, they will experience
these feelings. There is no way to get around it. If anyone
were to suggest otherwise, then I would say with some confidence that they
have never experienced the pain of having something to offer yet being
completely ignored. At least not for any length of time.
For instance, if the
air around us is "chilly" then we get cold. We are not the ones who
brought the cold with us into our environment, but instead our environment
brought the cold to us. Obviously the circle of people at the beginning
of the dream were 'cold' A person who is allowed to sit in at their
'group' but not participate begins to feel the 'chill' of their 'cold shoulder'
treatment. There is a sort of arrogance inherent when a person or
group of people assumes that a 'younger' person other than themselves has
nothing to offer. So it would be for anyone they decide is not really
worthy of their attention or inclusion. I certainly felt their subtle
arrogance in the dream.
Another problem that
was demonstrated in the dream was that participation was only for the properly
titled or 'recognized' few. This is of course not how Christ would
have a fellowship operate, but many religious groups do.
I sent this dream to
quite a few people because I did not understand the comment of "I haven't
been able to participate for 2000 years!" Almost every one
of them suggested that I represented the Holy Spirit or Jesus. However,
I suspect that the 'leader' was Jesus and if their theory was true, I represented
the Holy Spirit. This would make more sense because everyone would
vote for "Jesus" to be the Leader. Even as they do so though, this
does not mean they permit the activities of the Holy Spirit.
Some of the people
I sent the dream to, commented that the Church has been messed up ever
since Constantine built church buildings. Certainly, I would say
that 'fellowships' like this have been running like this for 2000 years
or so, and will probably run like this for another 2000 years. What
I mean by this is that a priest/laity division is hard to get over.
This is where only the recognized 'priests' get to offer their gifts and
only they run the show, while everyone else is left out.
Finally, the fact that
'prophets' in the dream were involved in the 'inner circle' reflected what
I already had come to realize: It was never a matter of what type
of 'leader' you thought you were but your heart attitude.
This dream certainly
had multiple meanings. I include it because yet again, the Lord was
speaking to me about GRACE. We must have grace upon ourselves --realizing
that when we are ostracized, we will certainly feel it in more ways than
one!-- and upon others too... It is good to act like the person who was
the Leader and not as the titled or 'recognized' people in the circle.
Arrogance makes us blind. Once blind, it is so easy to be totally
unaware of people who really should be included. When we have an
elitist mentality it is impossible for us to notice the leading of the
Holy Spirit to include someone rather than just assume they are 'lesser'
or not as important as we think we are .
Of the people I sent
this dream out to, one person wrote me back the following: "It used to
take me a long time to realize that the very thing I was seeking ministry
for, was often the psychological effect of ongoing rejection by the very
ones I was seeking ministry from. That's nothing but abuse."
This section of "Diary
of Dreams" is part of our Prophet 'Un'School
See also: Prophecies Regarding Women
"Whoever welcomes you
welcomes me, and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me.
Whoever welcomes a prophet in the name of a prophet will receive a prophet's
reward; and whoever welcomes a righteous person in the name of a righteous
person will receive the reward of the righteous; and whoever gives even
a cup of cold water to one of these little ones in the name of a disciple--truly
I tell you, none of these will lose their reward." (Jesus, in Matt. 10:40-42
What should be done
then, my friends? When you come together, each one has a hymn, a lesson,
a revelation, a tongue, or an interpretation. Let all things be done for
building up. (1 Corinth. 14:26 NRSV)
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by Teri Lee Earl
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