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God Heals Trauma

Note:  This is the beginning of my "God Heals Trauma" section of Diary of Dreams.
Other testimonies are then listed on the bottom of this page.

-Teri Lee Earl
Diary of Dreams - God Heals The Effects of Church Gossip

Below will be a few dreams in which God ministered to me about trauma or outright healed me of it. I have not often spoken of these types of dreams or visions for a variety of reasons. One reason would be consideration for a potential audience.  For instance, there is no need today for me to describe or detail all of the traumatic situations I was healed of.  Young people, or young Christians, are not prepared for such descriptions. Another common reason not to share would be a hostile environment.  A person must be able to have a safe environment to share, and unfortunately religious condemnation is too often tolerated or encouraged in too many setting today. Another would be our Western cultural mindset.  Just about anyone who has had ‘supernatural’ experiences of any kind would be familiar with the disbelief, the mocking, the suspicion, or even fear one can get as a result of sharing a dream or vision.  Concern for people’s reactions are not completely unwarranted. Jesus said do not throw out pearl before swine.

Too often, Christians who say they believe in the gifts of the Spirit scoff at or disbelieve in the workings of that same Spirit.   For instance, one time I shared a dream that I God gave me to a pastor's wife.  It was a dream where God had healed me of an event in my life.  I did not share the original event, and I considered the dream itself uplifting and encouraging.  Instead of rejoicing with me though, the pastor's wife scoffed at me and said: "Well I don't believe that God heals in dreams."  It is too bad this lady forgot the Scripture's instructions to "rejoice with those who rejoice."  The following is the dream I told that pastor's wife.

Go to Room 20

Upon occasion, for years I suffered from bad dreams about being unprepared for a pop quiz or test.  Sometimes the dream was about my wandering the halls in an unfamiliar school or college trying to find the room I was supposed to take the test in, and at other times I would be in a room with a teacher who announced we had a test that day, and I had not even studied for it at all.  It would be an important, big, test and I would start the test knowing I would most definitely fail.

These dreams started while my husband was in college, shortly after we had gotten married and moved out of my home state.  My husband and I talked about the dreams and we thought that they were your standard 'anxiety' dreams triggered by the circumstance of my husband going to school.  After all, people often have dreams about going to school without clothes on or without shoes on while they are in grade school, and we laughed that at least these dreams weren't like those!  Still, when I had them I would wake up quite upset and perturbed.  Eventually I prayed about them and for a couple of years they disappeared.

When my husband finished college and we moved out of the state of Michigan to the state of Virginia.  We were in a church for awhile but after discovering that the pastor there had a habit of telling lies, we left our church. We found a very good small prison ministry and fellowshipped with them.  The pastor/preacher there was pleased we drove all the way out to his ministry, saying that most Christians in the area did not bother attending a prison ministry since they are above all of that.  Surprisingly, he decided he wanted me to sing in front of everyone. I did so but I was extremely nervous about it.  I was so nervous that most of the time my knees literally shook all the way through.  It didn't make sense to me that I should be this nervous.  I had taken Drama in high school and spoken very long monologues which I had memorized. Why would I be nervous now?  I tried to get out of singing because my 'social phobia' as I later learned it was called, was very difficult for me.  He said I was doing just fine and not to worry.  Easy for him to say!

Shortly thereafter, I had a very strange dream.  It began like so many of the others, and even during the dream I was dreading the all-to-familar feelings!  The dream opened with myself looking for the proper classroom so I could take a test, and as usual I was lost. Suddenly a kind-looking man appeared before me. "What should I do, Lord?" I asked.  "Go to Room 20. You must go there and I will heal you."  The rooms were clearly marked and I passed Room 18, Room 19, and then went into Room 20.

There was a woman teacher inside the classroom passing out tests and pencils to take the test with.  As usual,  I thought, somehow I had missed the announcement for the test and somehow I was completely unfamiliar with the subject or the material.  My anxiety was rising as I was getting a pencil.  Then I asked a nearby classmate what the test was about. "This is nursing school," he said.  "Don't you remember when you were in nursing school?" Then the teacher spoke to me, "Yeah Teri, you passed nursing school.  Why, you know enough to teach the class now. You don't need to take a test.  Why don't you just stand up and teach the class?"  I got up from my desk and began teaching the class, with props and everything! I was doing a great job and was filled with confidence.

End of dream

I woke up and understood instantly what the dream meant.  Previously I would have guessed that it was at age 18 or 19 my problem with this social anxiety began, but it was actually at age 20.  I was in nursing school then, and this was at the height of the gossip of the large church I was going to.  After I found out what people were saying and what about me that they thought justified their conclusions, I  I distinctly remember feeling so uncomfortable walking into that church.  All eyes were on me. What more would they find to critique me over?

When I woke up I was completely healed of what happened at that age.  I went to the prison ministry and sang.  My knees did not knock together and I felt no anxiety at all.  I just told myself that if I made a small mistake in the song it was no big deal, and I was fine.

I believe the message in the dream of "You passed..." meant that I had 'passed' the spiritual 'test' at age 20.

The Bus Challenge
This dream was about two or three years later.  By that time we had moved to another state:

The dream opened with myself on a bus ride with other people.  By that time I had learned that a bus represented a fellowship of Christians because we were all riding together toward the same direction.   I was sitting alone in my seat and there was a slightly sleazy looking man sitting behind me.  He whispered in my ear and when I refused his advances, he got angry (I easily understood that this was a demon and not a man.  Occasionally demons have appeared as people yet they is a 'two-dimensional' or 'flat' look or feeling to them.  I was given the name of the spirit which was the spirit of adultery)  The demon then turned around and whispered in the ear of a woman behind him, who did the same to a woman or man behind her, and this went on around the entire bus, all the way up and down the rows.  Immediately I knew exactly what was happening. I stood up and boldly said, "Why do you gossip against me? It is because you are jealous of me.  You don't need to  gossip against me because you are jealous.  Yes the Lord has been with me in dreams and visions and a ministry, but do you know what you are jealous of?  Do you really know what you covet? Don't you know all the suffering I have been through-- things that I would hope none of you would ever have to go through?..." Then I began a very long list of all the things I had lived through and some I had barely survived, how my mother hated me from the time I was young, how I have had essentially no family and no childhood at all, and the list went on to more astonishing things--Things I would normally never have said in public.  Eventually I ended this long list of these personal horrors and persecutions with "See, you have nothing to be jealous of.  No matter what ministry God has for me do not be jealous..." (at this time a white house appeared on a hill. This has been a symbol before and another Christian over a decade later had a vision for me about this house.)

End of dream

When I woke up I knew this was a prophetic warning that eventually I would have to go through another scenario of gossip that was similar to when I was 20 years old.  However, this time I knew I could 'solve' it by being astonishingly bold regardless of what anyone ever thought of it.  Although I could certainly believe a demon of any type could start gossip, I had never before thought of jealousy as a motive for why people gossip.  Maybe for other people, but not me.  After all, back when I was 20 years old, I was close to starvation most of the time, owned no nice clothes, and barely had the money for gas.  Who could be jealous of that? Most of the time during my early years, I was jealous of them -- and this jealousy was over things that people usually took for granted. Such as, if they got to play or do other normal things I never really got to do after the age of six years old.

Like the previous one, this dream had me being bold.  Each time I was a bit astonished about how I acted in the dream for I thought it was completely out of character for me.  I was to learn later that God was trying to tell me it was time to change my behavior and to have confidence.  This prediction of the Lord came true,

I forgot about this dream for another several years until it started coming true.  Although I never actually stood up and announced things like I did in the dream, I knew that a front-on confrontation was certainly more than okay to do in a case of church-wide gossip.  I became bolder and bolder under the Lord's instructions in regards to what He wanted me to say and prophesy. This was the opposite of how quiet I became at 20 years old.  This boldness seemed out of character for me and was sometimes extremely difficult for me to do, but eventually speaking up became more normal for me.

Read before continueing in this section:
In a dream, you can be somewhat at a mental or emotional distance while the action unfolds. Sometimes these can be the happy truths and encouragement you never imagined possible, as in this first vision I relate.   Other times, they can be truths you have definitely not wanted to face at all. In both instances God is acting as the Great Therapist/Psychologist and we are laying on His 'Couch'.

The following parts of this "God Heals Trauma" section take on much more serious matters.  However, there will be no specifications or descriptions of graphic violence or acts, and no dreams containing memories of such acts. There is a big difference between Post Traumatic Stress Disorder nightmares and dreams inspired by the Lord for the purposes of healing and personal revelation (where the Holy Spirit reveals a truth).

-Teri Lee Earl

More of "God Heals Trauma" section:
P.T.S.D. part 1 - contains my young daughters "Dream about Jesus and the Wolves" and a vision I had of Jesus
P.T.S.D. part 2 - contains "The Dream of The Injured Women"
P.T.S.D. part 3 - contains testimony of how another woman helped me, and also the "Dream of The Car On Fire." Also discusses how repressed anger was a factor in my dissociative difficulties as a teen and in my depression throughout most of my life (before depression was defeated).

"Patching The Wound"  - about childhood verbal abuse
Final page in this section (resolution):
"Loving Plea" This section (God As 'Therapist') is part of "Diary of Dreams" which is part of our Prophet 'Un'School

I tell you, on the day of judgment you will have to give an account for every careless word you utter; for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned." (Matt. 12:36-37 NRSV)

To HarvestNET Reformation page To HarvestNET 'Prophet school'

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