A man walked up to me. He was not a 'regular' pastor. He had the anointing of a minister. He looked upstanding and righteous spiritually, but had long hair like a Jesus person of the 70's. He asked me how I was. He expressed some amount of concern for me, for he had seen me crying or hurt earlier. He spent some time with me, until I eventually began to talk about and describe what had happened. He asked specific questions about a bad experience with a previous pastor.

I then saw myself, recovering from previous sexual abuse from when I was younger, on an informal looking hospital bedi. I was pretty much 'helpless', as one would be in a hospital. I was in the last stages of recovery, yet still helpless. Everyone was walking by or milling about, almost as if I did not exist. There were other people there too, also in hospital beds. We were all right there in the middle of everything. From what little I could tell, it seemed they also were ignored.  I was aware of my condition and I was very hungry.  I could not feed myself at the time and did not know how I could recover with no food.  A pastor walked by, and did nothing although he was well-aware of my condition at the time and although he was charged with my care.   It was clear to me in the dream that he was just like the priest who walk by the man who fell amoung the robbers (Luke 10:31)

The scene changed back to myself talking with the first minister, who invited me to his new church, and then walked away.

Suddenly, I was walking into the church that was led by this same pastor who walked by me at the hospital scene--it was like an auditorium with a stage--and I sat with the congregation. I had already left that church before, but in the dream I walked back into it. As I walked in, I thought, "Assembled here must be some of the most passive people in the world" This was a judgemental thought on my part, I thought to myself, because it seemed like a rather broad-sweeping statement about a whole group of people. But God heard me and did not rebuke me. I knew then that He was listening to everything,and would correct me if I needed it, but He was silent. The church was like a theatre in a high school auditorium. The pastor was on the stage. He was very entertaining. He made jokes and had his audience laughing, but there was something inappropriate about it.  There was also little or no teaching included in what he had to say. It was symptomatic of a level of shallowness and a 'flippant' attitude toward the Holiness of God. I looked all around, and there were no recognizable faces. I looked back to the pastor, and suddenly his eyes changed and they met mine for an instance. I was also shown a 'murderous' demonic presence in the pastor's eyes (Matt.6:21-23), and a demonic threat was made toward me or anyone else who did not remain passive in the face of what was going on there, or anyone who had any leadership qualities from the Lord.  The transformation in his eyes was so complete for that moment, that I shuddered and was a little afraid.

The pastor then walked off stage, as he continued his friendly banter with the audience.  I actually 'hid' behind on of the auditorium chairs, hoping he would not notice me! But then (thankfully) he passed by me to the aisle and picked someone out of the audience--someone he wanted to do something with. He picked that person out for some sort of attention and exalted him in front of everyone in the church. This person was of course flattered and thrilled. I, however, was very glad to have no contact with the pastor, or be in any way involved with this 'ministry' or any attention he gave me to exalt me. I slipped through the aisle out of his view while he was busy, and got through the double doors of the auditorium to the outside. I was very glad to leave. I felt as though I had escaped alive!.

As I was leaving, the voice of the Lord spoke to me: "Do not be deceived by the number of people there. They are all young Christians, and have invited some of their friends for this occasion tonight, but the church is actually quite small." I then got in the car to drive away. I was very glad to leave, because of the threats communicated to me while there.

All I wanted to do was go back home. But my car turned right, down a different road. I recognized that this was the will of God, and I had no control, and I accepted that I was headed toward the meeting place that the minister invited me to. He was glad to see me when I walked in. He was leading this meeting, which was not at his house but at someone else's house. I had the definite indication that there was at least another meeting at someone else's house, also. I had the feeling that there were no 'church building' meetings. The meeting started when the minister asked everyone to open up to Proverbs, a chapter verse 1 and 3. He was teaching in an interactive way, so that everyone participated. I was impressed that he did not spoon-feed them, but intended for everyone there to dig in themselves. No one was sitting around passively, and I thought to myself with some relief, "Thank God, -at least he is going to do it that way...."

While they were looking the scripture up, there was an awkward moment for me when I blurted out that someone there looked like one of my stepsisters--like a twin to her. But another woman asked about my family, and I quickly fell silent, and gave muffled explanation to her question. My answer caused me to be embarrassed.   I whispered "I have no family"  almost to myself. (meaning I either literally had no sense of family while growing up, and even as an adult I often felt, or was, disconnected from my original family) The minister was aware of my blunder and seemed to already know everything about me. He let me fall silent about it with dignity.

As I looked at the scripture we were going to read, I realized it was a non-existent scripture.  In the dream, I understood that this was turning into a vision and so this "Word of God" was not expected to be exact Scripture.  The first 'verse' was about the wheat. When it grows in the first stages, it needs no human care, but grows by itself. I saw a picture of young tender wheat. It was cared for by the rains and the sun. (I understood this immediately to mean that the relationship with Christ and the Holy Spirit with the 'early,' or Fall rains, would normally take care of this young wheat) The minister had us skip over the second scripture. It was about violence or evil of some kind. I did not read it but was obedient to scan over it just as he did. Then we began to read the third verse, which said that it was when the shoots were tender and began to need care to grow further, they were in danger by an attack of the enemy. This was when the wild beasts would trample upon them to destroy them.

Then I looked up from my Bible. At this point in the dream, I had a certain thought about my calling and about what I thought I would be doing in the Lord. The Lord rebuked me in the dream for a type of arrogance as I assumed one thing, when in reality He had other ideas for me and I already knew that. I was momentarily ashamed.  Then I went through other familiar feelings of insecurities regarding our teacher in quick succession. Toward the end of this I was shown by the Holy Spirit a memory about my youth.  When I was young, most of my teachers stopped calling upon me in their classrooms. They seemed bored that I had always had the right answers, and they were interested in helping those more behind than I was.  I remember often raising my hand and being overlooked.  I often felt lost with nothing constructive to do.

I realized then that I had developed an insecurity which 'transferred' from my childhood into my Christian walk. This insecurity and frustration eventually led to other thoughts and feelings which led to the final arrogant thought God rebuked me for in the dream.  My last feeling was one of anxiety. I was worried that God Himself might require me to remain passive yet again (the backside of the desert) and not 'functional' in the Kingdom, even though that was not at all what God indicated to me in the dream.  My last thoughts were "Oh, not again, Lord! I pleaded...Do I have to go through this again? Please don't make me go through this!"  Then I came to a sense of total acceptance and peace as I trusted God to teach me what I needed to know while I "just sat" there. (Luke 10:41-42)

This whole process happened in rapid succession.  However, once I knew the "root" of my childhood insecurity in regards to never being "called upon", I also knew that it was resolved.  It was clear to me even in the dream that I had been "set free" by the truth (John 8:32), and now better able to trust the Lord not to be like those teachers in my childhood.

I returned mentally to my Bible and to listening to this teacher in the dream.  Then in the dream I saw this in a vision: I saw a wild beast that looked like an ox--only it was from the evil one! Not from the Lord! It had murderous eyes like the threatening and neglectful pastor at the earlier part of the dream. It was crushing some of the tender wheat under it's hooves, quite violently. There was a look of demonic rebellion against God, with arrogance and evil intent in it's eyes. However, I instantly understood that the problem with this beast was not only demonic, but that it was carnal --driven by carnal drives with only an understanding from the flesh. Thus it was like a beast, both in character (soul) and spirit.

Then I looked down to the scripture we were studying, at the third verse in this imaginary scripture, and I read the end of that verse for the first time. The verse ended with this promise: "...And I will raise them up again, says the Lord, I swear that I will raise them up." The words floated off the page, a clear mandate from God, and I heard Him speak them as they lifted up. This was the end of dream as I woke up, still seeing the promise above me. The presence of the Holy Spirit was very strong in my room as the vision ended.

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Interpretation - reposted 2005:

This dream was given to me in Jan. 1996 and contained personal messages that were rooted in the past, present, and future. For that reason it took a number of years for me to fully understand it. It also contained a specific message of grace for certain people in the Body of Christ.  Although I posted this dream once in an edited form with only a partial interpretation, I am now confident enough to post the dream and its interpretation in its entirety.  I consider the dream an excellent example of the depths of the Lord as He uses images and words to convey discernment and truth, conviction and grace, a spiritual strategy, and His resolve in prophetic promise, all at once.

A Biblical study and understanding is necessary in order to fully understand the dream's messages fully. I will first briefly address the personal messages to me and then move on to the more important larger message.

The opening scene was reminiscent to the parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10: 30-37) At some time in my life many years ago, I 'fell among thieves' metaphorically speaking (though much more than money was stolen).  My 'condition' during the times I was wounded and unhealed was at times represented by God in my dreams in the form of a person who was in recovery from physical illness.  The power of this symbolic representation for me was because I am by secular training a nurse. In this dream I was not alone in my condition from past trauma. Other people were also in 'hospital beds' and were also being purposely ignored by the 'priests' or other religious people who walked by them.  This opening scene is therefore a similar parable as one of the Good Samaritan.

This scene accurately represented the general attitude of the local I.C. church I had last been in (this was a church where the majority of the people tended to abruptly shun anyone who confessed they had problems), but just about every I.C. I had been in during the worst times of my life. The next scenes of discernment about the previous local church was also true for reasons that would be too lengthy to describe.  However, I firmly believe that this dream used this local church as a "type" for many churches today and was not just about this one church.  A complete analysis would include a discussion of how 'entertainment' encourages people to remain spiritual children, how the 'true' church-or those who make Jesus their Lord-can actually be smaller than the numbers crowding into an auditorium for entertainment, how recognition or promotion by man is not the same as the Lord's promotion, and how the devil has a murderous intent against spiritual maturity.

A small personal prophetic indication was tucked in this dream. I find that when this occurs in some of my dreams, it is not the main message at all. It is instead a 'fleece' to build faith as far as the rest of the message. It was clear to me during the dream that the incident with the car was one such prophetic message. At the time of the dream I had already left the I.C. church it portrayed many months ago. In fact this was my last I.C. and now I was on an 'adventure' with the Lord.  The fact that I tried to go in one direction in my car and then (because of the Lord's leading) drove north  foretold that I needed to give up all 'direction' to the Lord for He would take me into a surprising place. Some years later, due to the leading of the Lord,  we eventually did end up finding fellowship many miles to the north of us in a small home church. This obedience to the Lord led to some very unexpected blessings and turns of events closer to home, when because of this connection we found a fellowship closer to home for a time.

Another small 'future event' was my personal embarrassment as to my childhood. It is difficult to walk into a group of people who have the normal family connections and when asked about yours, find yourself either alluding to or describing something far less than the ideal. Watching the stunned look on their faces even though you have said very little, is emotionally uncomfortable!  In an "I.C." this does not often happen as often because it is not such an intimate setting. The fact that the Teacher in the dream had grace upon me showed me that God too had grace upon me, and in His view, I did not have to be embarrassed over what I could not help or change.

I want to emphasize that the arrogant thoughts in my dream while I listened to the 'teacher' at the home church setting *did not happen* in real life later on, although it most certainly could have if I had not heeded the dream. Not only did the dream itself minister to me, but I also had time afterwards to settle some things in my heart.

Sometimes we can struggle with the Lord over our callings or how it is to be realized, when the Lord wants both our trust and our submission to His will.  It is good when we do not act upon these thoughts or feelings when we have them, but it is even better to 'crucify' our flesh by repenting of them and making Him Lord, trusting His wisdom above our own. This is the heart change that God desires.

Since the dream was very much like a vision at this point and not "just" a dream, the Lord received my repentance immediately and could therefore take me further on into the message He had the Body of Christ. I am quite certain that if had not received the Lord's rebuke, the dream would have stopped there.

Message to the Body of Christ:

The Good Shepherd verses the hirelings and 'wild beasts'

The running theme throughout this dream was one of true shepherding verses false shepherding.  The true minister acted like Jesus in the dream; His was humble and unassuming, took an interest and was empathetic, and his spiritual anointing was obvious. This true minister was indeed Jesus Himself. It was the Lord who informed me and invited me 'outside' of the I.C.'s and into the homechurch 'movement,' and not man (previously I knew nothing about it) Also, how else would He already know "everything about me" later on in the dream?  This is not to say that there are not people with a shepherding anointing.  As a matter of fact, the end of the dream revealed much about the role these people really play in our Christian walk and how important they are.  However, in scripture the Good Shepherd is contrasted to the false mentor/teacher (John 10:12-13), and this dream did the same.  Jesus then was juxtaposed with false pastor, who was represented by an ex-pastor as a countertype to Jesus..

A false pastor is religious- One who in actuality opposes Christ and His ways or purposes---one who would walk around the wounded as if they are non of his concern, rather than attend to them in the least ways (Matt. 10:42; Luke 10: 31-32). False pastors are negligent, carnal and demonized.  Later on the false shepherds or false Christs were represented again in the dream --this time as a wild ox. The relationship between "wild beasts" and religious fervor against the gospel of Christ, and how powerful this discouragement can be, can be seen in 1 Cor. 15:32 (compare with the missionary story about the city of Ephesus in Acts chapt. 19).

There is a scripture that says we are not to muzzle the oxen while he is threshing (1 Cor. 9: 9) and that scripture is in context to evangelism and care of young converts (see verses 10-12). The saying is again repeated in 1 Timothy 5:18 in reference to those who work hard at speaking and teaching in the Lord.  So the fact that this wild beast was an ox is an unmistakable reference to a certain gifting, and the fact that it was a wild (rebellious) with evil intent represents the false gifting rather than the true. Even during the dream, I was impressed with the fact that this wild ox who saw trampling on the wheat was powered by the demonic, yet also wholly carnal, even though 'religious' too (at least in outward appearance). The Lord Jesus warns us to beware of those who " come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves" (Matt. 7:15 NIV) The sheep is domestic, tamed by the Lord, while the wolf is wild. People who do not make Jesus Lord do not submit the desires of their flesh but instead feed own their appetites. That is how it is that the Lord can call them "evildoers" (verse 23) no matter how much they say or do in His name!  This indicates that they do indeed have a double life of some kind. So arrogant do they become in their own cleverness and foolery that they even try to trick the Lord Jesus Himself

In I John 3:10 we know that he who does not love his brother or sister is not from God.  Even though I was shown a FALSE oxen. I understood at the time that there were other 'types' of wild beasts. However, the point was what this beast was doing to the grain. It was not threshing, but trampling, or bruising the grain. Anyone who shows the character of  Jesus heals by love and care expressed, and those who do not, trample and bruise by neglect of simple love or worse.  That is how it is that at the beginning of the dream, there were many people still in their hospital beds.

Interpretation of 'scripture' part of dream:

The tender shoots of young wheat were the baby Christians. They were babes in the Lord, at the beginning of their spiritual growth, just after the plowing and seeds sprout and their first rains.  During the dream and as I woke up, I understood that this is the time when 'babes' in Christ dig into the Bible themselves, and are directly ministered to by the Holy Spirit. You might cause this phase a 'honeymoon' with the Word and Spirit. Once we as young Christians begin to reach the stage where we need the 'care', then it is the responsibility of the older in the Lord, the workers of the Lord to seek out the younger and fulfill their role.  It was at this time that the agents of Satan whether they were 'Christian' in name only or clearly of the world, were strategically sent by Satan's kingdom to crush the young shoots of wheat.

I woke up with mind completely renewed about this subject. Sadly, many people often imply that the 'crushed wheat' is somehow responsible for it's own condition after a crushing. I now know that this is an all-out lie. To say anyone is responsible for their own 'nursing care' as they lay helpless on the hospital bed, is as much an 'upside down' logic as saying that young tender shoots of wheat are responsible for providing their own protection and growth when they are unable to. The absolute 'babe' innocence of the wheat was very clear to me. Yet can this be justified by Scripture?

In Mark 4:26-29, or The Parable of the Growing Seed, is a quick yet complete picture of the growth in God's Kingdom.  We can assume that unlike The Parable of the Sower (Matt. 13:1-9) and The Parable of the Sower (Matt. 13:24-30) both the soil (heart) is good and the seed is good. Therefore tares amongst the wheat or stunted growth are not shown in the simple parable of The Parable of the Growing Seed (Mark 4:26-29). Instead, this parable quickly shows 'normal' growth and the implication is that this growth is rather mysterious and done by God, and not by anyone who sows the seed. In other words with the usual rain, sunlight, and good soil, seed bursts forth into growth and produces fruit or harvest on the grain by God's miracle. This is similar to when the apostle Paul says that we are all just servants according to the ministry God gave us, but it is God Himself who causes the growth of the believer (1 Corinth. 3:5-8).

We have covered growth then, but what about protection? It is clear that God gave some as gifts to the Body to be evangelists, apostles, teachers and pastors (teachers with some shepherding anointing), and prophets.  Some have multiple gifts of course, and all of these work together to "build up" the Body of Christ to maturity.  One of the results of that growth would be that the believer is not easily fooled by deceivers and evil workers.

Those who are naïve (babes or children) have no idea the fate prepared for them by Satan through his agents.  Therefore if true ministers fail to heed the urging of the Spirit and enter into the lives of those who need good counsel at the proper time, then Satan is not polite enough to sit back and miss his opportunity. I am not speaking of a good general sermon given to the masses Sunday after Sunday, which unfortunately the 'shepherding' anointing has often been reduced to.  I am speaking of a Spirit-led interjection into the lives of the young in the Lord, which is exactly where such an anointing is needed the most [Note: shepherding/teaching by human ministers is ideally temporary according to need and maturity (Hebrews 5:12-14), but by the Lord Jesus is permanent].

In this vision, I understood that what was being shown me was a tactic of Satan that has gone on for some time in God's wheat fields. Christians who are mature enough to minister can stop this tactic cold in its tracks, simply by caring for the tender shoots before they are left open to a crushing. I was shown the absolute grace we must have for those who have been the recipient of such a tactic of Satan's, and that NONE of what happened to them should be considered their doing. It is rather, a general failure of the Body of Christ to heed the Spirit's leading to teach 'babes' in Christ about these masked evil-doers before they come, rather than act as though everyone who seems 'gifted' or names the name of Christ, is automatically okay and approved by God.

The promise at the end was not only for myself and my own life, since I know that I was once crushed as a new Christian as a young adult, but also for any others out there who have been crushed by a wild beast at a tender 'age' in Christ.  The Lord's prophetic promise is given in His closing words:

"And I will raise them up again. I swear (vow) that I will raise them up.".
 
 
 

This section of "Diary of Dreams" is part of our Prophet 'Un'School
 

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